I missed my counseling appointment again. I can’t do anything right anymore. I can’t remember properly and I can’t read properly. I even wrote the appointment down and i still forgot it. I don’t know how to live my life anymore if i can’t remember anything. I really needed the support and now i wont get another chance because im not taking summer courses at school. THey only gave me this chance cuz i was going to be taking courses in the fall. I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t have anyone to talk to or be around that supports me. Even talking here doesn’t help at all. Using a crisis line does nothing because there’s no time to talk about anything. All the resources are useless if i cant get trhough to anyone. I hate myself
From: Night/in/gale (Discord)
Heyo Foobie! Thanks for sharing with us. Proud of you for working towards getting help for yourself, and I’m sorry it doesn’t seem to be working out at the moment. I understand the feeling that you won’t have another chance, but you will. You just need to find the right person who will listen to you and help you. Give yourself another chance to love yourself, take it day by day and try to focus on the little positives instead of the seemingly overwhelming negatives. You are loved by everyone here, and feel free to talk to us about it! In the long-run, all your efforts will be worth it. Keep on keeping on, no storm lasts forever. You will have other chances!
From: OoZS (Discord)
Hello! Please don’t say you are stupid! I’m sure you’re awesome in your own way! People miss appointments all the time! I’ve done it and i’m sure other people on here have to. You obviously want to better yourself which is positive, but it seems like you could do with some support to get to where you want. Have you thought about speaking to a doctor or someone you trust? Reaching out for help is really hard to do but it can have a great benefit on your life. Having someone who could remind you of your appointments or be able to speak up for you could be what you need. As always you are loved and cared for. Feel free to reply if you want! We are all here to help!
From: j71s8 (Discord)
You’re loved, you matter so much and you are so cared for! You are valuable, and you are working towards your health. It seems that this is such a difficult thing for you to get to stick into your brain. I have epilepsy and I have a brain that sometimes is perfect with memory and other times is like nothing is there. Wanting to work on your health is amazing. You are working so hard. I wonder if there are any resources available online for you that you can schedule more easily at your convenience? I know that there are a number of resources that heartsupport has listed on the page, maybe one of them can be of help more readily by doing a digital type of service versus one that you have to physically attend that way you get things like an email reminder shortly before an appointment and things like that. No matter what, you are worthy of being loved by yourself. Forgetting an appointment does not make you unworthy of being loved by yourself, you are worthy of being loved by yourself because you are a human being. You are worthy of being healthy too, and you can do this! You are loved!
From: Micro (Discord)
Dear Foobie, I’m sorry you missed that appointment. It sounds that it was something you were really looking forward to, especially since it would give you a needed time and space to talk and receive the support you need. I understand the frustration that comes with missing something important like that. So many times, and because of my depression, I’ve struggled with memory loss over insignificant, but also important things. During these moments, I can’t help but beating myself up for failing. Just like you, I tell myself that if I can’t do THIS simple thing right, then I’m probably unable to do anything right, and I probably doesn’t deserve to be helped anyway! It’s tempting to make these assumptions about ourselves when we are disappointed and upset. But… we’re only humans, my friend. Forgetting about a meeting can happen to absolutely anyone, and even more when we are depressed. I want to encourage you to give yourself some grace during this stressful time. Seeing this counselor is only a delayed opportunity. Maybe next time it could help to set an alarm on your phone for the day and hour that would be set? Or even an email as a reminder. Or even asking someone to keep you accountable. Or using one of the bots on Discord to send you a reminder…! There are plenty of possibilities if writing down isn’t working yet. I too write down everything, but then I forgot about my notebook… It’s tough, and it takes many steps to learn. But you’ll get there, friend. Be gentle with yourself while you are figuring this out. I’m proud of you for seeing this counselor and for not giving up. <3
my doctor doesn’t do anything. She says I don’t need to see a psyciatrist more than once, i went to one in 2019. She doesn’t tell me about psychologists cuz they aren’t covered under insurance. I’m already on a bunch of medications. My friends don’t care as I talk to them about stuff all the time, but they never reply. Talking online doesn’t really help as it doesn’t offer real support. I write my appointments down but if i get really depressed or stressed i dont remember
digital services don’t help as i don’t get to actually talk about how i feel, it just ends up staying inside
I am sorry to hear that you feel this way. Does your school counselor have open hours? They can help and they are of a lot of use in open hours too. Limited Access to mental health care within insurance is a reality but doesn’t have to stop you from doing everything you can to get better and you can do that with a lot of resources (flexible office hours). If you are in school, as i stated, your counselor should be able to prepare a list of open office hours (if not a list of resources is also available). You can also talk to your school counselor about free therapy and other services provided to the community and directly to someone like yourself who is struggling with the exact same feelings you feel now. I felt that way too. It may seem difficult. But you are loved!
What other things have you tried? One thing i like to do is try by making a schedule every day where i just start with 1 single thing i make sure every day i always do and then work my way around those things that way i have a base schedule. When i go from there i end up using an old fashioned calendar. I also have a cork board in my kitchen with every day this week then next week and this months stuff tacked up on it too. It’s an organization trick that was hard for me to do at first but i started it way different than a way to organize my life. I started that cork board ad just the whiteboard part where i could try and write down things to keep myself more positive. Then over the years i added the few cards i would ever get (usually non-personal thank you cards) or s few photos of the things i do like which i took over the years to try to make me smile.
I continued to evolve that board more and more into not just a reminder of the appreciation and love others have for me, but the love i have for myself. It also has a very powerful way of drawing you to it so i began realizing it was a good place to put other positive things and just things i need to do (like chores or errands) and thus my version of my corkboard/white board was born.
As always, you are loved, you matter, and you are cared for greatly!
This was for my school counseling. I was fortunately able to get another counseling session for this friday but they only do 8 sessions. I have tried low cost counselling before but i got so frustrated with moving therapists every time that I stopped going. Doing everything over and over again is just what I’ve been doing my entire life, I’m tired of it and it doesn’t help.
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