it seems kinda stupid to complain about work because well doesn’t everyone? and we all work and whatever. it’s just idk mentally i can’t take working more than two days a week anymore, in the past i would complain about not working full time and now i can’t handle anything mentally and i’m in a constant state of disassociation whenever i’m there. like i’m lazy, but i do like what i do at my job, and i know when i’m lazy versus when i mentally can’t handle anything. and my job’s not the hardest, but i feel worthless because of how people treat me. i’m also trans and on the daily i get called a girl despite having the most masculine name on my name tag. my self confidence and motivation to live is at an all time low. i just want to leave my toxic household so bad, but i can’t because i don’t have a car, license, or a lot of money. i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we want to move in together, but he wants me to build up work experience and not rush anything. i want the same thing too because i don’t want anything bad to happen to our relationship, i’m just running on empty and i’m out of options. my town is too small to find any other jobs, this is the only place that would hire me (after a year of searching) and it’s a shit show. i just want to move on from this place, but it’s going to take so long and i don’t think i have the will power to make it. it’s just been such a slow burn and i know i probably won’t get any other answers except to just tough it out and wait, but i’m still hoping for some magical cure all lol
Hey @limeytea,
Thank you so much for sharing and being here. You’re going through a lot right now and I’m glad you managed to write it down and share with us.
it seems kinda stupid to complain about work because well doesn’t everyone? and we all work and whatever. it’s just idk mentally i can’t take working more than two days a week anymore, in the past i would complain about not working full time and now i can’t handle anything mentally and i’m in a constant state of disassociation whenever i’m there. like i’m lazy, but i do like what i do at my job, and i know when i’m lazy versus when i mentally can’t handle anything.
Yesterday I was talking with a dear friend of mine about burnout at work. And I can only share with you the same things that I said: your health and your well-being is an overall priority. Whether you appreciate your work or not, whether the environment there is healthy or not, whether what you’re doing is meaningful to you or not.
Yes, we all work but it doesn’t mean it’s always easy, and you have the right to express what you’re going through. You’re not lazy friend. Working requires a certain amount of energy. And when you’re not in a great mental state, when you have to deal with other difficulties outside of work, then it’s absolutely normal to struggle with that. If for the moment you can’t work more than two days a week, then so be it. I know it pays the bills. But taking care of you right now is also part of what allows you to actually keep working. Please keep in mind that it’s better to work 2 days/week now rather than not being able to work at all because you’d be too depressed.
and my job’s not the hardest, but i feel worthless because of how people treat me. i’m also trans and on the daily i get called a girl despite having the most masculine name on my name tag. my self confidence and motivation to live is at an all time low.
I’m sorry friend. Again, feeling low all the time is a red flag to take care of yourself as much as possible. It’s not always easy when your environment is toxic, when people don’t seem to care about what’s important to you. But you can still take care of yourself, take some little actions everyday for that. And if people don’t understand how you see yourself, how you define yourself, how you feel in your own body, then don’t hesitate to let them know it. Sometimes we don’t know how to see through other’s perspective even if our intentions are good. In those moments, trying to improve the way we communicate is important. Because you are you. And you have to be respected for who you are.
i just want to leave my toxic household so bad, but i can’t because i don’t have a car, license, or a lot of money. i’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year and we want to move in together, but he wants me to build up work experience and not rush anything. i want the same thing too because i don’t want anything bad to happen to our relationship, i’m just running on empty and i’m out of options. my town is too small to find any other jobs, this is the only place that would hire me (after a year of searching) and it’s a shit show. i just want to move on from this place, but it’s going to take so long and i don’t think i have the will power to make it. it’s just been such a slow burn and i know i probably won’t get any other answers except to just tough it out and wait, but i’m still hoping for some magical cure all lol
To build up some work experience sounds to be a very wise thing to do, especially if you’re both young (?). I’m glad to hear that your boyfriend and you are on the same page about this. And moving in together is actually a wonderful project. But I hear you. It’s hard to wait when don’t feel comfortable where you’re currently living, when you just want to feel more free and go somewhere else.
When I was 16, I moved out pretty quickly, as the situation at my parents home was very toxic as well. But leaving was an action of despair and I didn’t really take the time to think about it. I knew I’ll study, what I wanted to do, but I had no idea how I’ll manage… everything. And I ended to be homeless for certain time. But 10 years after I know now that I was way too young to experience this and I’ve ben through some very difficult things that could have been avoided if I didn’t left overnight. So from my own experience I can only tell you: don’t do the same. I really understand the situation you described. But you’ll manage to secure yourself, your situation, so your boyfriend and you will move in together at the right moment, okay? And until then, you won’t be alone. You have your boyfriend, you have us in this community.
It’s a matter of time and opportunities. But you are not stuck. Sometimes changes happen in a very surprising way. Keep searching, keep taking care of you. Ask all the questions and advices you might need to your beloved ones or even here. It’s absolutely okay.
Magical cure doesn’t exist. Just because we’re human beings and we need time to heal. But you can take all the available resources (a listening friend, a useful reading/podcast/video, a hobby, healthy habits…) that you need and take small steps every day. And those little things will make the difference in the long run. Hang in there friend. You are not alone. 