I [M26] am a complete mess up as a christian and just want someone to accept me, warts and all

I’m completely failing in my religion and just want to be able to talk openly with someone who understands what I’m going through or at the very least who can accept me as I am. i just want someone I can be completely open with, where I don’ have to hide my flaws and I can just be accepted.

I wish so badly that I could just…speak. I wish I could just talk with others of both sexes about this and be able to express myself without anyone trying to tell me I’m being to uptight, or being to sinful, without guilting me or trying to change me, but where we could just openly talk about these issues.

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Hey @startingover993, thank you for sharing! This is a great place for letting it all out - we’re a very honest, understanding crowd. We’re all going through something, after all :slight_smile:

I can’t speak to the issue of pressure around religion, but I am undergoing a similar process of breaking free from others’ expectations of me. It’s honestly an ongoing trek, with its ups and downs, but I can say that it gets easier and easier to show people your true colours.

Sometimes we come across people who seem almost offended by who we are and what we do. They might go from place to place, getting upset at how people are and trying to change them. It helps me to remember that I’m only really accountable to myself, at the end of the day. I have to live with my choices - not them. It doesn’t matter so much what the people around you think of your choices, because they will never have the complete frame of reference necessary to understand why you made them.

A phrase that conveys this idea well: “Grow your own garden.” You have your own life to live, don’t worry so much about what others are up to. And in the same respect, those people who seem hellbent on changing others should remember that others’ lives are not theirs. Your life is your own, and maybe it doesn’t make sense to everyone, but that’s fine. It’s yours. They should worry about their own stuff.

I hope this helped, even a bit. I’m here if you want to talk more!
Much love :heart:

Hey friend. Thank you for opening up here. If you are having faith problems, HeartSupport partners with an online church called God Squad Church. They are amazing people and would be more than willing to chat with you.

https://www.godsquadchurch.com/ < this is their website and you can find all the details on there. They stream, they have a discord server etc.
Maybe that’s something for you to consider? :slight_smile:

Hold Fast!


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thanks for the response. I’m not sure how I would feel talking to them.

part of my issues are, sometimes i Just want to express myself in ways that probably arn’t good in a church setting. Sometimes I just want to open up and be me, completely and that means expressing desires, frustrations, and talking about things for a little bit without worrying about if its right or wrong. I know its weird to express it that way but, i don’t know how else to explain it.

They’re not just a church setting. They partner with HS and are a place for people struggling with mental illnesses too. but its upto you! :slight_smile:

its just… so the thing is is most of the stuff I’m dealing with has to do with sexuality. I’m straight but my views on right vs wrong and stuff are kinda in flux. Even being not a "church setting’ its still not probably something I would be a fit for.

Hey man, before reading the other comments here, I’d just like to remind you that Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship. Now, I’m not saying that to argue that you have the wrong definition, I’m saying that to remind you that we’re not hear to follow dos and don’ts in the bible; we’re hear to have an actual relationship with God just like you would (hopefully) with your parents! This means that God, who knows everything, created everything, and has power over everything is intimately knowable, just like with your 5th cousin three times removed :wink:! So prayer doesn’t have to be anything formal. It’s literally just a conversation with God. At least that’s how I do it, “pretend” like I’m just chatting with a friend. I still never feel like I’m heard, but that doesn’t matter, because I know he does hear us, and that’s also important to remember.

Anyhoo, I know exactly where you’re at. I’ve been in that place for a long time. As an impressionable teen, I learned to swear like a sailor, and though I’ve pulled it back somewhat, I still probably drop at least 50 f-bombs a day (the majority in my head though). I’ve done other things I know were…well, not Christ-like. I’m only barely just starting to drag myself out of this (mostly being pull out by God lol) very recently, like this year recently. It takes work, and time, but you will get through this.

I know that right now you feel like this is the state of your life, and that’s just how it be, but this is not a state of being, but a trial. Trials are temporary. They come and they go. God will never make you face a trial you cannot over come…with his help. I know it’s hard to do, but lean hard on Him. He’ll get you through this.

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