Hey man, before reading the other comments here, I’d just like to remind you that Christianity isn’t a religion, it’s a relationship. Now, I’m not saying that to argue that you have the wrong definition, I’m saying that to remind you that we’re not hear to follow dos and don’ts in the bible; we’re hear to have an actual relationship with God just like you would (hopefully) with your parents! This means that God, who knows everything, created everything, and has power over everything is intimately knowable, just like with your 5th cousin three times removed ! So prayer doesn’t have to be anything formal. It’s literally just a conversation with God. At least that’s how I do it, “pretend” like I’m just chatting with a friend. I still never feel like I’m heard, but that doesn’t matter, because I know he does hear us, and that’s also important to remember.
Anyhoo, I know exactly where you’re at. I’ve been in that place for a long time. As an impressionable teen, I learned to swear like a sailor, and though I’ve pulled it back somewhat, I still probably drop at least 50 f-bombs a day (the majority in my head though). I’ve done other things I know were…well, not Christ-like. I’m only barely just starting to drag myself out of this (mostly being pull out by God lol) very recently, like this year recently. It takes work, and time, but you will get through this.
I know that right now you feel like this is the state of your life, and that’s just how it be, but this is not a state of being, but a trial. Trials are temporary. They come and they go. God will never make you face a trial you cannot over come…with his help. I know it’s hard to do, but lean hard on Him. He’ll get you through this.