I made a horrible mistake TW (suicidal thoughts)

Yesterday I hurt my friend of 5 years by jumping to conclusions and believing someone I didn’t know. They said that my friend harassed them and without thinking, I accused my friend… I said so many horrible things to her and hurt her.

Yesterday I then almost made the most biggest decision in my life. I was so close to just ending it all. I still am feeling that way even after she responded saying she didn’t want me to hurt myself over it and just needed some time. She isn’t mad, just hurt. And I’m happy she isn’t mad… I just wish she wasn’t hurt. Especially because of me. I had made multiple posts accepting I’m in the wrong and apologized, but it still hurts.


an important part of friendships and getting older is learning how to process and cope with large feelings like the one you’re going through now.

I imagine that you felt terrible after you realized it was not true, and you feel a lot of regret.

But let’s step away from the emotions for a tiny bit. What would hurting yourself accomplish? Your friend needs time to process her own feelings… wouldn’t it be nice for you to be in a position of being able to talk to her openly and honestly, when she’s ready? That should be the goal - process your emotions, learn from this incident, and see how best you two can move forward with your relationship, however that looks in the future.

You’ve even apologized! that’s such a good strong move, and it shows a lot of maturity. You can’t undo the hurt that was caused, but you can now choose how you want to interact with her. Hurting yourself will cause more pain for everyone so that’s not the solutions at all. Being calm seems like it would be a better state, doesn’t it?

Are you safe right now? Are you still having these thoughts? I’d encourage you to call a hotline or crisis line if you are, or stay with some trusted adults who can help you if things get rough for you tonight.

You matter, you’re learning so much about the world and yourself and how to navigate through it. i’m glad you’re here with us. Stay with us, share your thoughts here, and always remember - you matter!


Thank you… yeah it wouldn’t really accomplish anything really. I live with one of my brothers and cousins so I’m safe. The thoughts are still there, just not as strong as they were yesterday.

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good to hear you have people around. Keep posting here too, if it’ll help you get the big emotions out :slight_smile:
mistakes happen, misunderstandings happen. They don’t make you a bad person or anything like that. Just want to be sure you know that. You matter! Be kind to yourself!


Hey @alexgamer_hameowlton,

It is completely understandable to feel/have felt a roller coaster of emotions for jumping quickly into conclusions and realizing that it was a mistake. We learn from our mistakes though, as uncomfortable as it is. In this situation, it is easier for those who would read your post to see some silver linings in this situation, so I hope this could help you a little more to process what happened and be confident with the fact that you are now more in control of what could happen from now on.

1/ Your reaction shows how much you care, how much ethics are important to you and you hold high standards for the people you care about. It also shows that you are willing to step in and share your voice if something objectively wrong happens: it is a strong trait of your character, and not something to be ashamed of at all. If your friend would have actually done this, you would have called them out and dared to care. In a world where people are often afraid to say that something is wrong, it is truly a strength to be ready to acknowledge something unfair happening.

2/ Your friend and you have obviously a solid friendship - hurt is present, but it is also met with understanding, which is absolutely beautiful and admirable. You both seem to know each other very well and truly care for each other. That’s why the hurt/disappointment is there, that’s why you jumped into conclusions too quickly, and that’s why communication is still possible today despite all of it. There is a beautiful opportunity there to heal together from what happened, because there is mutual understanding. That’s extremely precious.

3/ You have acknowledged your mistake and apologized to her. Once again: not everyone would have done that! Far from it. It takes a lot of strength and care to say “I’m sorry, I was in the wrong”. It shows humility and a real willingness to grow from what happened. So if guilt is present regarding your first reaction, I hope you know that at least you can get rid of any potential shame.

4/ No doubt this will be an experience that you keep in mind in case that kind of thing happens in the future, so you would add more steps and time between hearing about something that strikes a chord in you and acting out of that feeling.

We learn from our mistakes, and sometimes we have no choice but to embrace them as we can. It’s very uncomfortable, but you have a beautiful context there to learn and create some restoration with your friend, little by little. There’s a before and an after, yet the “after” here holds a real potential to be met with growth, patience, healing and love.

Well done for acknowledging this mistake - “I made a horrible mistake”, as you have said, is so different from believing that you would be a horrible person. Being aware of this is a real strength. I 100% believe in you, in your thoughtfulness and your ability to grow from what happened. Your heart is big. Sometimes you might just encounter situations during which your personal limits and values are affected, and learn ways to deal with how it makes you feel personally without giving up on genuine care and dialogue.

You bring a lot of light into this world. Thank you for caring as you do. Make sure to give yourself some grace. :hrtlegolove:



Hi Friend, I just wanted to check in and see how you and your friend are doing. I hope you worked things out with your friend and everything is okay. One thing I have learned in life is to remember that there are always two sides of every story and to go to the source for answers. I hope that you are feeling better mentally. ~Mystrose


From: SuchBlue

Hi alexgamer_hameowlton,

I think you both feel hurt from this experience, and you both should just be patient with each other, take a deep breath, calm down and maybe take a break. Friendships do have ups but they also have downs, and that’s okay because friends are some of the most essential things in our lives. You understand that you feel hurt and also your friend, which shows how much you care about this friendship and it would be such a shame if it had to just end here. Things happen, let’s just try to move on and have a good time :slightly_smiling_face: You’ve been friends for 5 years, I’m sure that you can fix this and you’ll have a good friendship again :hrtlegolove:

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From: Lisalovesfeathers

HI friend, thank you for your post, I am sorry that you had that problem with your friend, it sounds like tha whole big thing got way out of hand and thats really sad. Its so difficult when people gossip about someone and you are left to try to work out whether it is true or not but the best way to deal with that is to ask rather than accuse, but its a lesson we all have to learn and its a mistake I think we all make too. I am sure your friend willl be ok, it just takes time and of course they do not want you to end your life, they care for you and you care for them because that is what friendship is all about. I wish you both well and many more years of good relationships. Much Love Lisa. x

From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello again, friend! Sometimes the hardest thing to do when something is done in haste that we regret is to do nothing. Time heals wounds. It’s true for physical and emotional ones. Don’t pretend it didn’t happen but if you keep bringing it up then you may not allow your friend the space and time they need to heal from feeling hurt. And it may help you heal too. Everyone says and does things they later regret and you have done the only thing we all can do. You’ve apologised.

On a more important note, I’m glad that you chose to not harm yourself and I hope you continue to make that choice. And I hope you let your friendship heal and the two of mend any rifts that have formed. Good luck and stay strong :hrtlegolove:

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Hey friend, accepting that you did something wrong takes a lot of bravery, and you did the right thing by apologizing and letting your friend know that you care. You’re a good friend, and the fact that you’re feeling this way means you care, but we all make mistakes, we all fall short of expressing ourselves in the very best way possible. Making a mistake doesn’t mean you should consider ending your life. You matter, you’re loved.


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