I messed up so badly, I should just kill myself

I had a job interview today, I’m 21 and it was I my first interview. I don’t feel like I elaborated enough, I panicked a little. I’m so useless and worthless. If I can’t do the interview properly how will I do the job even if I get it. My mother is so angry with me, she said I answered the questions so stupidly. I haven’t received a response yet but I’m sure I didn’t get it.

I really think I should just kill myself, my life is ruined. I’m trying to figure out how to do it. The best way to kill to kill myself.


First of all, no you should not. Second, you are anticipating the bad outcome before knowing for sure. Third, you are linking the ability to do the interview to the ability to do the job, which is not the same thing. The last thing is to remember that it was your first interview, you can’t expect from you to always succeed the first time. Maybe my answer is a little too much on the logic side but I want you to know that you are certainly not worthless and just maybe lacking a bit of confidence since you are new to this.


Hey @Patches23,

Please take some deep, deep breaths. Your life is not ruined. You will overcome this.

Job interviews are INCREDIBLY stressful. I’m 28, had several jobs, mostly “unofficials”, I’m graduated, I objectively know that I have skills and abilities… yet I’ve been struggling with job search for a little while now as it stressed me a lot and I’m convinced that I’ll never pass again through the obstacle of interviews. It is a challenge for everyone, I can assure you. Not just you. Because it’s freaking intimidating to be in this position of having to “promote” ourselves and justify what we’re able to do to a bunch of strangers.

You are not useless or worthless. And I’m so, so sorry for how your mom reacted. You definitely don’t need to be guilted on the top of the disappointment that you already feel. Through regardless of her reaction, what happened doesn’t define you and isn’t going to put a stop on your life. Looking after a job is, in itself, like a skill to learn, step by step.

More often than not, the first interviews that we have are not the ones that allow us to get a job, because we also discover how these procedures work and we’re generally not fully comfortable. It’s okay to learn. And what hapened to you at this interview is only this: a learning experience. So please don’t let what happened or anyone convince you that this specific experience define you, your abilities or even the possibility to get a job later. It’s okay to be sad and disappointed. I would too tend to be really hard on myself. But you need to give yourself some credit there. You’ve been at this interview! You’ve tried. And it was your first one! I’ve been delaying that moment for a little less than a year now because of fears and insecurities. What you did was incredibly strong, brave and inspiring.

On a different note, you as a human being will never be defined by any of this. Your worth goes beyond that. Your life is so much more valuable than to be ended like this.

If you find yourself in a vulnerable position right now and feel unsafe mentally, please reach out to a crisis line as well:

There are people on those services who will listen to all that you have to say, to all you feel right now, without any judgment, just like here. How you feel is valid, but it’s important to let this out in a safe, healthy way, not by hurting yourself. Let this storm pass, my friend. Right now your emotions are intense, so it’s not a time to make long-term decisions at all .Give yourself time. Breathe. What happened is an obstacle on the road that can be turned into a learning experience and a strength for your future interviews. You are learning, progressing, trying. That is absolutely worth to be celebrated right there.

I’m freaking proud of you for daring to put yourself out there despite your fears or possible doubts about yourself, and despite the pressure that some people could put on your shoulders. This is not just about the result. The process is as much important, if not more!

You are loved dearly. Stay safe, friend. :hrtlegolove:

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Hi Patches,

I’m sorry to hear about your interview experience.

If it makes you feel any better, a lot of people are bad at interviewing. Its a scary process - you’re front and center being interrogated by someone (or multiple people sometimes which can add to the stess) whilst having to think on your feet and try to sell yourself as well as you can.

Interviewing, like many other things in life, takes practice. It’s not uncommon for secondary educational programs to hold mock interviews with their students, with tips on how to answer common interviewing questions, how to dress, etc, because of this.

Considering this was your first interview, you shouldn’t be so hard in yourself. I know every interview I’ve ever done was harder than the actual job because I have social phobia and I don’t like being the center of attention. Comparing the interview process to the actual job is like comparing apples to oranges - you can try but they’re 2 totally different beasts and I honestly think you’ll be fine in whatever job you’re trying to get.

Anyone hiring someone with little job experience (I say this only because you said this is your first interview) knows this and won’t expect you to be perfect on day one. Even if you’re a master at what you do, it takes time to acclimate to new environments, new people and new challenges. Everyone has to start somewhere, everyone has been the new guy at some point in their lives. It sucks for you, it sucks for the trainer, but inevitably over time, you’ll find your groove and before you know it, you’ll be training the next new guy.

I want to congratulate you on your first interview. It takes guts to get in there and sell yourself, and the fact that you even get an interview in the first place generally means something about you caught somebody’s attention along the way. You will get more interviews. Some will go well, some won’t. It may take some time to get hired, but keep trying. Maybe see if a friend will help you by asking mock interview questions so you can get used to the interview atmosphere.

Hang in there, friend. You are worth it and you can do this.

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Thank you for this. It’s very hard to see things objectively when my mother gets angry with me. Usually I feel like it’s something small but she completely flies of the handle. She just twists everything, she says I won’t get another interview this was it. Like basically my life is over. I won’t kill myself, I feel calmer now. I still feel disappointed in myself about the interview though.


Thank you for saying you’re proud of me. Reading it made me cry. I am happy that I tried, and got the experience. I just feel a little disappointed in myself. I also feel bad after what my mother said. She just gets really angry and says nasty things. She feels bad after but you know it’s hurtful.


Thank you for your advice. I do feel like I will do better in my next interview. I still feel like a bit of failure. I thought I was prepared but with they just sitting there staring at me I panicked.


I felt it was important to respond to this.

After I graduated from my Network Security program, I had a LOT of interviews over 3 months before getting hired. So many I lost count. I would send out at least 5 applications per week, most of those didn’t respond, a good number did though, and of those that I got an interview with, 95% of them never got back to me after the interview.

There will always be another interview as long as you keep applying for jobs, and I would remind myself over those 3 months that, statistically speaking, eventually I would get hired after enough interviews. It’s a numbers game at the end if the day and eventually you will win.

You’re welcome, good to hear. As someone who is a harsh self critic, I understand why you would feel this way, but as someone on the outside looking in, I think you did a great job and just taking that step to go out of your comfort zone is amazing and you deserve some credit for that. Now that you’ve experienced the interview you’ll have a better idea of what you’re walking into next time :).

Best of luck, I’m excited for you.


So it’s normal to mess up your first interview?

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I would say absolutely.


Again you should not kill yourself. Interviews are hard honestly , especially the first one! Youll get better the more you do it and also just take a breather. Im sure you will nail it soon! Best wishes and. Praying for you to help you ace your next one !

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