I know I’ve posted a couple times already about what I’m going through and the anxiety that I’ve been feeling everyday now, but it’s getting to the point where it’s frustrating. And usually when that happens, the anxiety I feel turns into… disappointment? I see my anxiety as a younger sibling who won’t stop screaming and crying and I’m the older sibling not knowing what to do or say because no matter what I do, their screams only get louder. I’m trying to console it, that everything is going to be okay and that we have a plan.
Little anxiety sibling: but…but… we need to do something now… we need to do this, we need to do that and if we don’t… what are we? Who are we? We aren’t doing enough… even our father says so… Working four hours a week isn’t enough…
Me, the older sibling: Hey, hey it’s okay. Everything is going to be okay. Can we take a minute please? This is all just… too much. Look, don’t listen to what our father has to say. He goes back on his word all the time. He was proud of us for even working two-three days a week at one point; the point is, we want to ask for more days at work and possibly more hours. At least the longest that they’ll have us. We keep our part-time job there and find another one. We want to do a remote chat job, right? I know that they are kind of hard to come by right now but if we keep at it, we’ll eventually find one.
Little anxiety sibling: okay… but… we’re deathly afraid of talking on the phone… we can’t handle talking to strangers on the phone…
Me: It doesn’t have to involve talking on the phone, right? We find one that’s right for us and if we make it, we make it! But if it isn’t right for us, then we move on and keep looking.
Little anxiety: okay… I guess… I guess we can work with that…
Me: Okay good. Now, let’s have a good day and try to keep calm for the rest of the day. Okay?
Little anxiety: okay. I’ll see you in an hour…
Me: …