I miss being a kid

Honestly I really want things to go back to when I was a stupid kid I miss the days of having my dad around and feeling safe I miss the days of being able to play games and not feel guilty I miss the days when I could sit with my dad and just hang out without feeling like everything was ending like I was being thrown into a world I was never trained for like yeah I miss being spoiled cuz when that was happening I was semi happy cuz I felt like I was ok I was going to have my dad forever I can’t have nostalgia for those times cuz those times feel like a different person existed in them

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Yeah, non-stop adulting is a drag. The fact is, human adults need periods of time when they can forget about all the adult concerns, and enjoy guilt free play. Yes, you were different then, but the child within still needs nurturing. Guilt free play and relaxation is essential for mental health. It definitely improves brain function, as does laughter.

Even if your circumstances are uncomfortable, and all you can do is take a mental time out, do it. Give yourself some time when you don’t think about what you should be doing, or haven’t done, and enjoy it without feeling guilty. After experiencing some time of mental and emotional freedom, adulting is a bit easier.

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It’s not even adulting that draining me its that fact I’m at a point where I need to become more independent but also struggling to do so do to my mental health and my autisim

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I’m so sorry for the loss of your father. Especially if you were so close to him. I’m sure he would be proud of you and want you to be so happy.
Have you ever had any grief counselling? Just curious, I had one session and just talking to someone outside it all helped so much.
Sometimes even writing a letter to the person or talking out loud to them helps, maybe taking some time to do something you both used to enjoy.
You’re allowed to grieve, but you’re also allowed to be happy and enjoy life. Being independent doesn’t mean you never can rely on anyone ever again, it just means you create a path for yourself to grow in.
And sometimes we back track those paths and find new ones, sometimes those paths take us to places we didn’t expect. Sometimes they’re not the path we thought they were and we need someone to rescue us.
You can honour his memory and you can miss him, don’t forget to allow yourself to live life though.
Hope you’re doing okay

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Hi @Derpplup,

Adulting is hard, becoming more independent is hard work but there can be a bit more balance we can try to create in the busier adult lives.

o you do self-care things for yourself? Take a few moments a week to just be in the moment, do something nice for yourself?
It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate, even a cup of hot tea and listen to something relaxing, create some art, whatever brings you joy? For me, watching some twitch streams help, or even a youtube video where I watch someone camping in the snow. Nature sounds are great to help unwind too!

We’re all here for you too, to help you and support you as we can. Keep on being your awesome self!

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Hey @Derpplup
Thank you for this post, you are a child for such a small amount of time in your life that its only natural that we want to hold on to that time for as long as possible or even go back there, lets face it, we had no responsabilities, we hopefully laughed more, played more, were care and worry free (in an ideal world) and we felt safe and loved (I hope) why on earth would we not want to stay there forever, who wants to grow up? I guess the one beauty of the actual growing up part is we learn to appriciate it and can then pass it on, when we are young we take it all for granted, now we look back and are so grateful if we had that and we have the memories to carry with us, we have lessons to take forward to our children or loved ones and we can share it all in spoken or written word with anyone and everyone. I guess for that we can all be grateful. Much love Lisa. x

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So, adulting isn’t draining you, but you feel the need to be more engaged as an adult. Your original post suggested that you missed the times when being an adult wasn’t so important. Additionally, you missed feeling the security of having your Dad around. It’s understandable that you feel that way.

Now you’re facing necessary changes, which are challenging for anybody, but additionally so because of your autism. I believe you can handle it, as you’ve already demonstrated intelligence and ability through your writing. Still, it sounds like you need help in learning how to manage your life. I hope you have someone like a counselor or therapist who can help. I still maintain that along with your efforts to learn and manage your life, you need time to “suspend” your adulting for a bit. Doing that refreshes the mind and makes it more alert and open to learning. So, relaxation and play is serious business. Maybe the play can take the form of walking or other kinds of exercise. Maybe it could be movie watching, journaling, cycling, or some kind of hobby.

Anyway, allowing yourself a bit of time away from adulting will do you good. Both the learning and creative process includes a decent amount of focus on issues, then letting go of them in a guilt free way for a while. Answers to problems or questions often come during times of relaxation or play. That’s why it’s so often heard, “I need to sleep on it.”