I’m having a really shitty day and I miss Katie so much. In a sort of twisted way, I’m jealous of her too.
She’s at peace now. She doesn’t have to deal with the shit that is happening in the world right now. She doesn’t have to deal with the pain that life brings every day. All I can think about is how much easier things would be if I wasn’t around anymore. I want to be with her.
If I’m not thinking about that, I’m thinking about ways I can harm without anyone finding out.
I don’t want to be in this pain anymore. It just doesn’t stop. There’s no break. I can’t handle it.
I don’t know what to do, I just want to be free from my own mind for even an hour… She was the one person that would be able to take me out of my head for even a short period… I miss her so much.The pain is unbearable.
I’m so sorry Kayla. You are so loved and admired you have no idea. I’m so grateful you’re still here with us. You are a light to me and to us all.
Love you, please hang in there 
hey @Kayla ,
i love you friend and i know you miss katie . its going to be okay you have the whole community that will grieve with you friend , you are not alone !
- Ashley
Hey @Kayla
Im sorry that you are missing Katie and having a shitty day. Missing someone is extremely hard especially when things come up that remind you of them and the deep personal connection that you had.
The pain is unbearable but time heals those wounds even if it takes months or years.
I am glad that you are still with us here even though you don’t want to be.
Keep holding fast friend
EF
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