i’m laying in the couch crying because i’m thinking about all of my pets and how my mom was with me when i got all of them and she won’t be with me when i lose them and they’re the last pets i’ll ever have to remember her by. she got our recent puppy zuko so she would have something to leave me to remember her by. her most recent gift to me was actually a pair of titanium chopsticks though because i kept losing all of my wooden ones. i miss her. it doesn’t even feel real but at the same time it does. the reality of knowing i’ll never be able to see her again but waiting for her to walk into the door or feeling like i’m going to see her every time i come into the living room sucks. my dad is filing for the death benefit for me and needs proof of guardianship but the only viable proof is school records but i haven’t been in school for three years since i found out about my moms cancer. it took such a toll on my already horrible mental health that i couldn’t do it. i ended up crying a few times during phone calls with my old biology teacher that was meant to be an assessment. now she won’t ever see me graduate or even turn 18 and it doesn’t feel real. i just want to feel nothing again.
edit: my moms phone kept going off so i checked her messages and there’s messages from my dad from yesterday about how our ac got fixed and she would have been happy about ti and stuff and now i’m crying again
Hey, for what it’s worth, I think you’re dealing with things really well. I know you’ve had a lot of stuff going on with your family but you’re doing awesome.
I know how hard grief can be, do you think it would be worth looking into grief counseling?
Your mum will always be with you, in your heart, your mind and your soul
@echo I am so sorry for the loss you have had to experience. Any and all types of loss is extremely hard and painful. First off you are not alone in this we are here for you and care about you and your well being. I know this has been a thing you have known was likely going to be the outcome but that makes that actually loss just so much harder. Your mom sounds like she has been a big big part of your life. No matter the fact that she isnt with you physically you will and I mean it you will always have her with you. She has imparted into you the wisdom, love, courage, and so much more of what she had. All this she did by teaching you guiding you and leading you in the ways she could. A parent may not always be there with you through a struggle but they do help by what they taught you.
I want to say that loss has always been a struggle for me too. I take it really hard and dont do well after it. I always try to find ways to handle it as best as I can so that I can remember that person or have something of them with me. Something I recently did for myself was a specific means of laying to rest a part of my own family that I lost. A little girl I lost actually. I spent time saying goodbye to her from my heart allowing myself the chance to grief that loss and to know that she may not be here but she didnt leave without leaving a mark. Perhaps you could find down the line time to not only grief but come to terms with this loss. It wont be right away as grief is a long process and takes a lot. Personally each of us also grief loss differently. I had flowers that represented that little girl so I used them and created something. Also had winnie the pooh that represented her and I created something in that theme that I can hold. So what is something that represents your mom to you? Use it to make something that you can have for a life time that is like her or of her.
Just know that no matter what you are not alone. The feelings you are having the emotions you are feeling are extremely valid and very much apart of grieving this loss. I wish sometimes that we could make a magic response to loss that is not has bad or something that creates a better safer way. Know that I am here to talk if you need. On the text from your dad that had to be hard because its the thought of knowing how your dad is handling it but remember you do not need to be strong for him. You need to be strong for you and allow yourself to process and heal too.
You are loved, and I am sorry for this tough time.
Hold fast
Ash
Hi echo
I am so sorry. It is hard. Very hard on you. It is unfair and cruel. But sometimes that it the hand that we have been dealt. The loss of a loved one is one of the most horrible things that can happen to us and you should get as much time as you need to deal with it. The pain might never fully go away but it will slowly fade. Time heals.
I truly wish i could be there with you right now because i dont think some members of your family ( like your meth head sister) are supportive enough ( in her case not at all). Please write here on the support page whenever you feel down and we will try our best to support you. You are going through some dark times and you need all the support you can get.
I know things might seem hopeless right now but there is a future for you Echo. There are good things awaiting you. Please hold on. We will be here when you need us. You can make it to brighter times. I believe it.
Hugs we are here for you Echo, and remember that those pets will love you. They are a part of her in a way, so you are not alone.
It will be okay, it’s going to be a rough ride, but just remember that the people you love most will always live within you. Life will continue and she will always live on in the soul.
I’ve seen alot of your posts, and I know you have alot to deal with right now, do you think you can look into therapy? If not, animals always provide the best comfort, and they are always there to listen, as well as us. We can’t give hugs like a cute pupper though T^T
I know it hurts, and I know it’s scary, and I know nothing can change the past or the reality, but you will get past this, and she will live on in your heart.
Remember you are loved, and we are here,
-Xaii
I lost my mom to cancer too. It was leukemia. Every situation is different. I’ve never felt pain like this in my life. It’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me. Your mom is at peace now. Just try your best every day.
I am very sorry for your loss. I have been sitting here for a while and I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care. Everyone grieves in their own way and I am glad you posted.
