I need a little help in trusting my family with my sexuality :]

[Atavistic_Azurel]

Hello! It is i, the great Analyiah! Anyway-- HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, EVERYONE! I hope everyone is having a great morning/day/night, wherever you may be! Also, for those who are scared of their sexuality, express yourselves, and be yourself! Be confident, and don’t be scared of who you are! Though, no pressure! I, myself have issues with that, i’ll be honest. But i’m very open towards other people about my true colors and my sexuality… though, i’m still scared to tell my parents. I feel like parents are the most supportive people you could have in your life, but something inside tells me it’ll go the wrong way, or i’ll be seen differently. Would they stop talking to me? Would they think i’m weird? Sure, there could be chance i’d be interested in a boy, but what if i were to be interested in a girl and told them about it? I love my parents, and i know they love me too… but people can change, Snap just like that, and that’s what i’m afraid of. I do encourage others to trust their family members, and be proud of who they are, but i understand that that could be very hard and problematic. I’ve heard of neglecting children because parents can’t accept their child for who they are, but then… there’s supportive parents who will accept you and love you no matter what. My mother has told me that she would love me no matter what, whether i liked girls or boys, she would still love me… but that was a very long time ago.
I remember a time where i was… Ten? Eleven? I was with my father and step-mother, and we were talking about… Love life(?) or what they saw for my future. Being me, i like giving hints, so that when i tell people about myself, they’ll already know. So i said, “What if i married a girl though… hmm… maybe i’d like a girl one day, you never know.” and they kind of, accepted it, there wasn’t much they said, i guess they were caught off guard.
A problem i have with my family, is that they assume i’m straight. Sometimes, when i have to tell them something they’re like,“Is it a boy? it better not be a boy.” or “is it boy trouble, you can tell me gurl!” and i start to wonder, if they don’t want it to be boy, then they probably wouldn’t mind me dating a girl.

Well, that’s my logic at least, hopefully i’m right.

Anyway, i feel as if i’m ranting now, so i’ll stop here.

I do have questions though, would you mind helping me with this little problem?
It’d be appreciated! Thank you very much!

[Wings]

Based on what I’ve read here, your parents are likely to have a difficult time accepting your sexuality. It sounds like they already have a pretty good idea that you are orientation is not strictly heterosexual. They may be very accepting of you, and even love you unconditionally, while at the same time have difficulty accepting that part of you.

A parent might be willing to die for their child, and still not willing to accept their choices.

I think your family members would continue to care about you, even if they don’t approve of your choices. In a lot of families, that disapproval will be verbalized on a regular basis, which can be a very hard thing to live with.

My impression is that you would be best off by not forcing a confrontation with your parents regarding your sexuality. There may come a time when a just “feels right” to tell them. Right now, your instincts are telling you to hold off, and I think you should probably trust that intuition.

[LiveResponse]

From: Ash (Discord)

I am so sorry you are fearful of what you parents will say or do when you come out. I personally have been there I have struggle with the idea of I know they will react in away that will hurt me mentally and emotionally. What if they never want to talk to me or see me. Those fears will eat us. I will admit that I personally havent come to my parents and come out that I am panromantic asexual and transgender because I dont want to deal with loosing my family. I have lost a lot of other things in my world and loosing them wouldnt be easy. I know not exactly the same boat as you but I have been there been where I fear that my parents are going to be upset. I have to say tho that sometimes we just have to open up and share whether that is through actually telling them in words or telling them via a letter or text but telling them none the less. You mentioned having kind of dropping hints to your parents that is a good wonderful start. To me it sounds as if they just arent sure where you sit perhaps. It also sounds to me like you dont know either. I thing that if your parents are supporting you now that you have a right to share this with them. Just know that it will not be perfect whatever you decide to do. Your parents are still your parents and if they are as good from how they have accepted just the ideas and suggestions they seem like they will come around no matter what you choose to do. Just know if nothing else you do have a community of support and love.

[LiveResponse]

From: Micro (Discord)

Hay Analyiah, thank you so much for sharing all of this. I believe it takes a lot of strength to deal with those questions and seeking for support while your fears could convince you to hide and step back… It’s beautiful that you are not shying away. Because you are you! Who you love is part of your identity, and that is 100 okay. Now, I can relate to your fears regarding your parents reaction. It’s the type of talk where the outcomes are very important and we’re afraid that it would change our entire world. You are right, there are parents who are not supportive with their children and don’t validate their choices. My parents are from that type… and it’s also a reason why I never even bothered to try to tell them that I’m panromantic. I truly admire your strength and bravery, and am inspired by your determination, despite the doubts and fears. How you feel is absolutely valid! And from an outsider perspective, I would like to highlight what you said about your parents. They seem to be very open about this topic, even if it’s not explicitely confirmed yet. I believe that, for this kind of talk, it’s important to listen to your intuition and trust it. You’ll feel when it will be both a need for you and the right context to share with them about your sexuality. They may be surprised or shocked, because that would change the perception they had of you, but that doesn’t mean they would love you less or consider you less. They’ll just probably need their own time to process this new information. In any case, know that you are loved right as you are! <3

[HSYouTubeTeam]

Hey Atavistic_Azurel,

AmandaRuthArt responded to your post live on YouTube!

Here is a link to the video so you can hear their reply,

"I'll Be Seen Differently"