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I need advice on how to help my girlfriend


#1

So here’s the deal, my girl has been dealing with a lot of stuff the past few years, and she needs help. She’s been battling depression, anxiety, just started self harming again last night, and I don’t know what to do. There’s a lot of different factors why she feels this way, and I’ve tried to get her to come to the support while but she says she doesn’t need an app to help her. I told her it’s way more than that but she won’t try it. There’s no counseling available for her in our area, and even if there was we have no money. I told her to try to find someone on here that can relate to her situation a little bit and maybe that would help, but she still won’t give it a shot. I’m all out of options and I don’t know what to do. I’m not going to go into much detail about the situation because I feel like it’s not my place, but long story short, her parents don’t feel like counseling is what she needs to do, and one year ago last month, was her second daughter‘s birthday. She gave up that daughter for adoption when she was born because she would have gotten kicked out from her parents. She feels like she made the wrong choice giving her up for adoption, and she feels all these different emotions that I can’t explain to you. Mainly emotions of regret and sorrow About the situation. She’s been treated wrong by so many guys and I think she’s worried I’ll turn out the same as well. I don’t know what to do, so I’m turning to you guys for help. I need advice


#2

Hey Friend.

First of all I’m sorry you’re going through this with your girlfriend. There may be times when someone gets down and we all want to be able to fix whatever is wrong to make our loved ones happy so i get that. If I was in your shoes i would just be there for her whenever she needs it. Continue to try to keep her away from self harming by doing stuff with her. She may at times seem like she is not happy to be doing things with you but I’m sure she will appreciate it. I usually don’t go down this route, but if she is religious, maybe try talking to a religious figure that could help. Unfortunately this is something we can’t fix, shes has to take those steps to fix the issues, but you being there to guide her and lead her down the right path is going to help the most. And dont get discouraged if she gets angry at you or whatever, if that happens just give her a little space, she will be okay

Hold Fast friend.


#3

Hi friend,

It sounds like you care about your girlfriend a lot and really want her to get help. That’s really admirable and she is lucky to have someone like you. Unfortunately, you can’t help people who don’t want to be helped. Betterhelp has a free 7 day trial that you can encourage her to try through HS. You being there to support her is a huge helper. Having a strong support system is incredible valuable to healing. Sending you love!


#4

The truth is she thinks she made the wrong choice, but at the time it was the right choice. In the future when her daughter is 18, she can try to reconnect.

My mom reconnected with me after giving me up around 3-4, not for adoption. She left me with my Dad (A military one at that). I reconnected with her in 2017. I thought I hated my mom and would never forgive her since I was 15. I’m in my 30s now and I did what I felt was impossible. I forgave my mom.


#5

Hey there friend,
i would recommend getting in touch with a good priest or pastor in you area if there is no counseling available. Just be there for her friend. Be her shoulder to cry and lean on. Be the inspiration she needs in her life. When she feels down, encourage her. Speak words of affirmation, inspiration, and love to her. Things will get better. I’m praying for the both of you.<3
thought i share this song <3


#6

Maybe encourage her to find a healthier outlet instead of self harm? Music, art, exercise, journaling. There are so many things that can allow the feelings she has out in a healthier way. My sister struggled with it a while back, and she started painting to cope. Some alternatives to cutting she used was putting a rubber band around her wrist and snapping it when she has an urge. Or squeezing ice cubes, or drawing on herself. These are some things that helped and there are many more online resources for it. I hope things get better for you guys and she can find some healing and forgiveness for herself.