From stargategirlSophie: I recently joined a club at the college I’ll be going to. So far I’ve attended a couple events and they went really great! I feel like I made some awesome friends. There’s a few I’d love to follow on social media because I think they’re really great people but their accounts are private. Is it okay to send a friend request to someone I’ve only met twice? Or should I wait ? I don’t want to lose contact with them because some of them are in their last year of college, and I’ll be going into my first year. These people made me feel so welcome and accepted. I felt so happy around them.
I understand your nervousness around the situation, it’s hard to feel like you’re putting out too much of yourself and there can be this fear that people will find it too much.
In these instances I tend to ask the person directly if they have instagram or whichever social media platform and if they would be comfortable if I added them.
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, but I understand that the thought of crossing a boundary can be frightening, especially when you have really good intentions.
So maybe next time you all hang out you can bring it up with them if they wouldn’t mind.
Really happy to hear that you have some really good new friends and that you’re enjoying yourself!
From stargategirlSophie: I would ask them but because I struggle with anxiety a lot. I don’t know if I can. I’m hoping maybe they’ll ask first. Thank you for the advice though. I really do appreciate it. It also makes me nervous because I think I have a crush on one of them but I doubt they feel the same because we barely spent much time together. I’m hoping to at least be good friends with them.
That’s totally understandable and you’re not alone or judged for feeling this way.
It’s okay to wait to see if they’ll ask first.
It may even come up organically like talking about shared interests and if there’s a page you follow on instagram or they might follow.
From stargategirlSophie: Exactly! I’ll be seeing them again next week. Hopefully I can build up the courage to talk with them more.
I would definitely echo Neko and you here on taking your time and seeing how things unfold. You have a good strategy and perspective ahead: seeing if they ask first, or connect this conversation through shared interest, or last option asking directly when you feel like comfort and trust is established enough. As you discuss casually, it may be possible to refer to this artist on [the social you refer to], or this meme you saw, or whatever, and use this as an opportunity to gently ask if they would like to friend you on this platform! I personally completely get the nervousness and anxiety surrounding just the act of asking this. All in all, you can ground yourself (as much as possible) in the knowledge that objectively asking this is not wrong and not intrusive - tons of people do it everyday for multiple reasons. You got this!
From stargategirlSophie: Thanks!==================