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I need help getting my bf to understand anxiety


#1

How can I get my boyfriend to understand depression and anxiety. He thinks that being with him, he’ll make me happy and I’m not sick and I’m fine. Which he makes me happy but depression and anxiety I can’t turn it off like a light switch. I’m always going to be sick. Any ideas??


#2

@Madi2001

I’m not in relationships, so I can’t say much. But perhaps, showing him videos about Depression and Anxiety. It takes time to get educated. I hope you guys will get better at this. Thank you for sharing.


#3

Thank you! I will definitely try that!


#4

Hey there Madi.

First of all thank you for sharing on the forum. As someone who doesn’t struggle with what you are going through however has been in the HS community for a little over 8 months now, I understand how you are feeling right now and also how your boyfriend feels. Before I was a part of HS I had no idea what all entailed with mental health, but after being shown resources and researching it I now have a better understanding of it. I can appreciate his thinking of you being with him being the end all “cure” for your depression but the truth is that he just cant be. He can certainly be a powerful factor in helping you deal with what you are going through but he isn’t the cure. What I recommend is you showing him studies on depression and anxiety, show him the heartsupport website at HeartSupport.com, and show him the books that are available for free. (which I have posted links below)

Last thing I’m going to say is that I don’t think you are “always going to be sick”. You are just a normal person who is going through some stuff right now, but that doesn’t make you any less of a person. You are someone with air in your lungs and a heart that beats and you deserve all the love anyone else deserves. I hope what I have said helps and that your boyfriend can understand what you are going through and can be a positive source of growth for you.

Hold Fast.
-Yummerz

Dwarf Planet: https://heartsupport-merch.myshopify.com/products/send-me-a-dwarfplanet-book

Rewrite: https://heartsupport-merch.myshopify.com/products/send-me-a-rewrite-book


#5

Hey Madi,

I can’t say how much we appreciate you talking about this, it’s a hard thing to talk about.

You say he wants you to be happy, honesty is the best thing in a relationship. He would appreciate the honesty. What Justin said above, youre a normal person who just has something going on. You are you. Be proud of that and just talk with your boyfriend. If he cares about you, he will understand, especially what AVJR said. Informing others is key for them to understand.

I hope he understands if you decide to talk.

With Great Hope for the Good,

J


#6

Hey Madi,

I just want to say, you are awesome for coming here and looking for help.
I know talking about it with someone who doesn’t suffer with depression or anxiety can be hard but don’t give up.
Keep talking with him, see if you can find some video’s like mentioned above that can help you explain to him.
Also, like mentioned above, bring him to the site and show him some of the research that’s available. Just be open with him and tell him you ARE happy with him but there are times that your depression/anxiety can kick in and at times for no reason.

Keep strong, we all love you!
hugs
-Neo


#7

Hey Madi, first of all I want to say that I can relate to this post completely. My best friend and cousin doesn’t understand depression or anxiety that well and when I opened up to him a couple months back, he just asked, “Well why can’t you just stop being depressed?”

I’m not gonna lie, it destroyed me a bit that day. I was in tears and didn’t know what to do or even say. Ended up calling a friend crying and talking to her for hours. What she told me though did help me and she said, “Snuffles, he might not understand it right now, but keep talking about it. Explain to him that though it doesn’t make you who you are, it does affect you from time to time. There will be high days where you see the world in a bright beautiful colors and that there are going to be dark days where all you want is just a hand out there reaching for you to help.”

To this day, he doesn’t exactly get it, but he is learning that there are days where I’m just not 100%, that I might not want to go out, but instead just stay at home and be reminded that I’m not alone, even if I’m in a room alone.

So, my cousin is slowly learning and is getting better at it and I have faith that your boyfriend will do the same. I don’t know anything about him, but he just sounds confused and you can help him through that jungle. Show him videos, academic books and this website.

Most importantly, be honest with him when you are depressed or anxious. I am sure he would understand because at the end of the day he wants you to be happy and I am sure he will do anything to make it happen.

Getting someone to understand depression and anxiety takes time, some can be longer than others, but eventually it will happen.

I wish you the best, You are loved and matter
-Snuffles