I need help, I don't matter to anyone and it's eating me alive

Everyone I’ve ever cared about ends up leaving me. I reach out, I try to talk to people but I rarely get a response and when I do it’s all very… Polite? Idk if that’s the word for it. No one ever contacts me first, no one wants me around, at most I’m an afterthought. Idk what I’m doing wrong and how to fix it. I think more and more that no one would really care if I was gone. I know that it wouldn’t make a difference in the lives of anyone I care about, if it would I wouldn’t be able to go literally months without being contacted by anyone without being the one to reach out first

Hi ,

I will try my best with my writing since english is not my first language. First of all you’re never alone and there is always someone to listen to you at heartsupport. Also, it’s a feeling that a lot person face, so don’t feel so miserable about it.

Please don’t say that you are worthless and you don’t matter to anyone. I think that you’re very hard on yourself. For sure you matter for a least some people and that’s the most important; a friend, a family member or anyone. I don’t know you personally, but it takes courage to open up about personal issues or negative thoughts. Don’t forget that when we are hard on ourselves, our minds play tricks on us. Sometimes we see things worse than what they truly are. Also, it’s not because people don’t contacts you first that they don’t care about you. Some people engage a bit less conversation, but it doesn’t mean that they don’t like you.

In another hand, try to change your mind with hobbies and things that makes you feel good about yourself; sports, reading, video games, martial arts or anything else. Maybe, you could subscribe to an activity to meet new people.

Also, remember that you’re never alone in those kind of situation. Stay strong
Feel free to reply if you need to talk

It’s not that they don’t contact me first, it’s that if I don’t reach out they don’t contact me at all

The best thing that i have learned is: if they are not willing to reach you then they are the ones missing out. What i have done is accept that they may not reply and find someone else that will maybe someone that you meet that has the same interests. There are haundreds of groups/communities that will talk to you and you will make new friends.

But where do I even start? How do I find these groups? Cause I’ve looked, I’ve searched, I’ve tried, and I always come up empty

Hey idkwhattodo,

I can totally relate to the feeling. It can be very isolating.

I have found that a great way to connect with people that actually care is to go to social events that you are interested/care about. If you like writing, maybe go to a workshop! If you are into music, perhaps a live performance. Cooking? maybe some culinary lessons. Sports events, poetry nights, board game cafes, you name it.

It’ll be some much easier to connect with people that have the same interests.
There will always be someone who cares, so keep looking!
Know that there is someone rooting for you here at Heartsupport.


Ive found that a good, old fashioned, but specific google search will work most of the time. Have you looked into meetup?