Life seems to have more bumps then anything else.
I can’t keep a job and I need to find one soon to pay for everything but I can’t seem to find one that will pay enough, or I really like.
I got kicked out and I’m living with my friend and I’m basically living on the floor, and I’m dragging my girlfriend along with me and I feel like a useless person.
I’ve has so many suicidal thoughts and I I can’t ever sleep and I think about killing myself because I feel like I won’t find a good job or succeed at being a musician, and this depression has given me even more trouble because I just breakdown through out the day and I have so many people breathing down my neck and it gives me a bigger burden to have to take care of.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, I dropped out of college and I don’t have a job, I’m trying to do something with my life but I feel unmotivated everyday to even do anything, most days I don’t even feel like I want to exist.
I just feel like life is against me and I know I have my faults I just wish I could find a job online that would be easier for me to stay home and not have to interact all the time so I don’t have to hate and quit jobs all the time because I’m lazy and scared to work and feel like a failure.
Bu thank you for listening.
Life seems to have more bumps then anything else.
Life has this way sometimes, of placing challenges before us that feel so impossible and out of our ability to handle. It can feel so defeating and deflating to our person. My boyfriend went to school in the music field and really struggled after he graduated and proceeded to branch out to find a job. He was forced to move away from those he knew and away from the music scene that he was familiar with and put in a place where there just wasn’t any connection for him and everything he worked for. It caused a great loss of motivation for him and hit him hard. Music is where his heart is and it’s sad that right now, it wasn’t working out.
So now, like many people I know, they are forced to find jobs to bring in money but it’s not something they feel passionate for or that is fulfilling. It’s something I have found that we have had to face. There’s this acceptance that has to happen. That a job needs to be found so that bills can be paid. We just have to remember that, this doesn’t have to be permanent. Just have to find something that can temporarily hold the fort till new doors open and you can readjust your life accordingly. It’s reslly hard doing this while keeping a good attitude about it because it’s hard doing something that isn’t very fulfilling. But something to remember is, if you keep your head up, work hard, bring a positive energy with you and show those you work with how dedicated you can be, you never know what new opportunities that may open for you! It could lead to raises and promotions. And allow you to work more and thrive more to be wherever it is you need to be.
I have found that attitude is everything but it can be so hard finding a “good” or “positive” attitude when things just feel like they aren’t working out how we want. So we just have to really surround ourselves with positive people who lift us up and encourage us. Motivate us. And sometimes people who will hold us accountable. In a healthy loving way.
Seeing a therapist may also help if you have access to this so that they can gently guide you and help you work out small goals to achieve the bigger goals that you want for yourself, a job and your relationships.
We are in a day and age that yes, can feel so hard to thrive in sometimes. But there is so much possibility out there for you my friend. We all just have to kinda find our niche and try to make that work. Commit to it, dedicate the time and patience to it so that we can make it happen.
There are things like medical coding that you could do. It’s not really something that is overly exciting and probably won’t feel very fulfilling right away, but I think it’s something that can be fairly easy to get training for and it allows you to work from home with reasonable pay. Maybe it’s something worth looking into? That way you can be home in your own space? It would take dedication to learning but could be worth it.
I don’t have all the answers for you but I see the struggle you are going through it and have seen so much of that in my own life, in my loved ones and my friends lives. It’s hard to find that balance sometimes. But just keep surrounding yourself with people who you can trust and who bring you up, and talk with them. Let them gently guide you and give you advice and if nothing else just try new things. Even if it doesn’t stick. You never know who you will meet or what doors will open for you , leading you to opportunity that you never expected.
Keep your head up my friend. I know it’s hard sometimes, but I hope that you are able to find whatever it is that you need that will give you the boost of motivation so you can grow, learn, thrive and succeed!
Birds neither reap nor sew, but the Lord feeds them. You are worth more than a thousand birds. God has a plan for you. You may not know yet, but he’s got your back. I have a few songs for you because at least for me, music can help.
- Jump by Lecrae
- 8:28 by Lecrae
God bless you and keep you.