I need help please

From dimishere: @everyone help i am thinking of killing my mother and also killing my self, i have been going through a lot the past years and trying to not kill myself (i have gone through smoking and sh and many more drugs) i am 14 and i have been smoking since 10 because of stress and anxiety, when i was 12 i found selfharm and started cutting and burning myself daily because smoking wasnt enough for me, last year i went through drugs and many more, my mother is a single mother that raised me and my brother TERRIBLY, he ran away from home at the age of 16 i havent seen him in 5 years and i dont think i will ever do again. I am thinking of running away aswell, my mother knows about all i have been going through and just says : “just grow up and stop being a bitch” just today i tried choking her to death and nothing happened, she hit me with a mini shovel we have for our fireplace and told me it would have been better if i died, PLEASE I NEED HELP WHAT DO I DO

From foobertdoobert: please check out the <#423176381141090304>, they have crisis resources. If they don’t work for you, I would call the non emergency number or emergency for yourself. If you do not want to call, I would walk in to the emergency room and tell them what is going on

From listening2day: It took me a little bit as I am on mobile.
But the resource page lists these for your region:

National numbers: 100 (police) 166 (ambulance
Suicide hotline
Phone (24/7): 101
National children’s line
Phone (24/7): 1056 (or 116 111

And reaching out to a trusted adult in your region is also an option.

From dimishere: i know all the numbers but i cant call

From listening2day: Is there any trusted adult that you are able to reach?

Sounds like things have been tough for a while, especially in your family. Can you go to a place where you can be physically safe for a while? From there, you could try calling one of these lines, depending on what country you are in. They are more qualified than us here on Heart Support, and they can definitely help you with the harder parts of life. Or if you cannot do that, talking to someone you trust can also be good.
I see that you’re going through a lot, which does not make you any less mature or strong than another person, despite what your mother tells you. I want to leave you with the thought that things would not be better if you died, because you matter and you deserve to live. Feel free to update with any information or anything else you need help with.
Here for you,

From dimishere: No=======================