I need help, prayers, advice

Support
1

Hi, everyone.
I know I fell off the end of the earth and I haven’t been on here in forever. My life has literally been so crazy and I don’t know where to go anymore.
I moved to Cape Cod back in October last year and left my husband. I was working at a job that destroyed my mental health, we were struggling, my depression and anxiety had never been worse, and my marriage was not making anything better. My husband was neglectful, lazy, emotionally abusive and manipulative. I also made my fair share of mistakes and I would be very cruel to him. We stopped going to church and abandoned our faith completely and everything just went to shit. We were complacent in how we treated each other and it was all so wrong.
So I left.
A lot of drama ended up happening, I told a lot of people that my husband was physically abusive at the beginning of our marriage - which was worked out, and we hadn’t had any issues with that ever again. He knew it was very wrong and it never happened again. This led to him getting kicked out of the band he was in, and being banned from the music scene.
So, his friends ended up attacking me on social media platforms and calling me a liar, and dragging my reputation. It was a mess.
So fast forward a few weeks, I met a man and we really hit it off. He’s really sweet and good to me, but I could never stop thinking about my husband back home.

A week before I came back to Louisiana, I ended up breaking up with the new guy and started talking to my husband again. We were going to go to marriage counseling and work on our issues. Two days before I moved back home, he started ignoring my texts and calls. When I finally got in touch with him, he said it was over, he was filing for divorce and I would just have to get over it. I was heartbroken - I didn’t eat or sleep for days, all I did was pray that God would change his heart and he would come back to me. I ended up seeing him at a show and we talked and he said he still didn’t want to be with me. Yet, we kept talking and eventually, it led to us having sex that night. I thought that was it, and we would be together again.

I was wrong and he ended up leaving that night and not speaking to me for months. I waited around for a while, and nothing. So, when I came back up north I ended up talking to the other guy again and we picked back up on our relationship. It has been nice, but I knew I should let my heart heal before getting into another relationship - I was just ready to be loved.

A week or two ago, my husband texts me. He said he was sorry for everything, and he wants to do whatever it takes to make up for his wrongs and fix our marriage. He’s completely apologetic and is willing to do marriage counseling now. He said he’s never going to stop fighting for me.

I know this was a lot, but I’m just looking for prayers, guidance, unbiased opinions, some encouragement, anything. I don’t want to break this new guy’s heart again but I’m also scared I will regret not working things out with the man I married. Or what if I go back to him, and nothing changes and I miss out on a better relationship? So…help?

2

It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of tough decisions right now. I would encourage you to seek God and pray for guidance about how to handle this. He ultimately knows your heart and what plans He has in store for you. It sounds like there are a lot of factors to take into consideration and to try and shoulder that on your own would be very overwhelming. God is stronger and has His hand on this whole situation. Seek Him and He will guide you. Know that I will be praying for peace and guidance through this difficult situation you are facing.

Hold Fast,

Hannah Rhodes

3

Yeah. Personally by what you said Your Husband is scum. Your husband ghosted you not once but twice. How are you sure he won’t just bed you again then ghost you. I say move on especially if the guy you’re with now is reliable.

Your husband had his chance twice and proved he can’t be trusted. No relationship will ever last without trust. Best to just divorce his ass. In my honest opinion.

So here is what I suggest. Did you tell your boyfriend that your husband contacted you? I think you and your boyfriend need a talk. If you’re really thinking that he’s just a rebound maybe you should go back to the hubby (again who most likely will ghost you once you’ve had sex). I also want to point out that all his friends don’t like you now. Do you really want to go back to an all hostile environment where his friends will probably influence him ghosting you again?

More reasonable choice is to stick with the man that proved he loves you. Your Boyfriend.

Maybe I am wrong. Someone with a different perspective chime in.

4

Girl, I feel your pain. I get it. I’ve been and am in a similar situation. It is not easy. Definitely lean on God during this time. He knows where you need to be and things will work out how they are suppose to. It’s the waiting that sucks the most. Does your boyfriend know about your husband and his willing to work on the marriage? If you still love your husband and he truly is going to work on your relationship then I would suggest giving your marriage another chance. Marriage is messy. Everyone comes into a marriage with their own problems and start blaming their spouse with THEIR problems. It takes a lot of work. After all the “puppy love” goes away, love becomes an action. A decision. You have to choose to love your spouse even in those bad times. Definitely give counseling a try with your husband. And if it doesn’t work out, please take my advice and let your heart heal before getting into another relationship. I’ve made that mistake before and it has made things messy. Get yourself a counselor too. Talking about this to someone who can help you guide your feelings and figure out what to do will help so much also! Good luck friend. I’m here if you want to talk more.