I need help 😩

Guys I am very upset right now…I don’t even know how to feel… I didn’t want to take this semester off, but when I went to go pick classes I got all this anxiety and I had no idea what to pick. It was so overwhelming. I know God led me to this specific major/degree. I remember praying and praying and he opened up these doors for me. Now I am 5 classes away from finishing and now I feel weird. I started thinking he maybe wanted me to do a different major which has made me really upset considering I am so close and have been working on this major for 6 years. Also when I finished my Associates’s degree, I looked into other majors and asked God what he wanted me to do and if he wanted me to pursue a different degree path before I started my Bachelor’s degree. He opened up the doors to the major I was already pursuing. Now I feel like he doesn’t even want me to finish college, which is so frustrating considering how hard I’ve worked to get this far and how close I’ve come. Everyone keeps telling me to finish, to push through. My parents, friends, people from church. I want to so bad. People just keep telling me that it’s me that’s just feeling the way I’m feeling. That it’s my anxiety. I want to triumph and finish so bad. I want to prove to myself and to all the people that said I couldn’t finish college that I can. I want to prove to my abuse ex that I’m not stupid and that I am smart enough for college and that I CAN finish. I want to finish so I can be proud of myself and of a career that I worked so hard to get. I want to help people and change the world with my career. So why does it feel this way? I need help…I need answers. I feel like God is so silent. I feel like he hates me. I keep having mental break downs over this. I keep getting so sick over this. I don’t even know how to feel anymore. I feel like is spiraling out of control. It just feels like why get me this far and so very close and to let me get excited about finishing and take it from me and not let me finish? I feel like I’m going crazy. I just hate being stuck in the same spot that I’ve been in. I feel like I’ve just been working meaningless jobs. I just want to finish to have a career to make a difference…is that too selfish to ask for? A friend from church said God would never waste my gifts and talents, but it sort of feels like he is now. I feel like because of this constant anxiety I keep getting that I’ve changed so much. I keep losing everything about me. Everything I’ve known. Everything I’ve been so in love with and passionate about. I just want a career to be passionate about. I don’t want to give up…but I just feel so drained and I’m so very close to giving up. I feel like God isn’t here. Like he’s just allowing me to give up. I keep praying and asking for advice. I also think it’s made me become so angry and frustrated. I just really give up…I feel like I’m never going to finish and that breaks my heart considering how hard I’ve worked to finally get here. :disappointed: I’m just so depressed I feel like I have no purpose. Ugh I don’t know. I feel like I’m rambling. But it’s like why lead me to this specific degree, why watch me do all these classes and why let me get so close to finishing if at the end of the day I was never intended to finish? I’ve had so many setbacks I just give up.


Hey @alenatbow14,

It sounds that you’re having a lot of pressure on your shoulders right now. So first of all: take a deep breath, whatever happens on the matter of your studies, you’re gonna be okay. :heart:

You said :

I just feel so drained and I’m so very close to giving up.

Which I think is a really importance statement. You’re tired. You’ve invested a lot of your energy to get where you are. But on the other side there is also this huge pressure coming from your family, friends, relatives and society in general. So what about trying to find a solution between all of this? What about taking a break and get back to your studies after that? So you can rest and also have some time to reflect on your life choices.

I’m asking this because it resonates with a season I’ve been through when I studied. I too wanted to prove to myself and others that I had the capacity to get a diploma, to achieve what I started to do. And I had so many doubts about the choices I made. But maybe this eager was a bit too much. I studied for 5 years and spent the last 2 years studying in 2 different fields + working. But at the 4th year, I had a huge breakdown and I had to take a break. First because my doctor told me about depression and advised me to slow down, but also because I was terryfied by questions about my future: what if I made the wrong choices? What if I don’t find a job? What if I end to be trapped in a job that doesn’t make sense/is useless/doesn’t suit me? In these circumstances, one of the best decisions I ever made was to stop studying for a year, with the absolute resolution that I will get back to it the next year. A kind of promise to myself. Which I respected in the end and I spent the last 2 years of studies in a better mental state.

I don’t want to sound like I’d be pushing you in a certain path. Those decisions are yours entirely. And obvisouly I don’t know anything about your relationships with your family and friends. But if something is sure, it’s that there’s no studies or job that would be worth to lose your own health. Goals can always be postponed. And having a break doesn’t mean you’re stupid or a failure. Only that you need to take care of yourself and you’re aware that, for the moment, you’re reaching your own limits.

Also, maybe you need to ask yourself honestly if you actually want to finish this major. Or if this is about possible doubts that you could have about the choices you made, because you are to the point of achieving it. I mean, it would also makes totally sense to feel that way, to start doubting and questioning everything. You are about to finish something and be in a state of transition in your life that you don’t really know for the moment. It can be stressful and/or scary.

Again, you’re gonna be okay. Whatever your decisions are. Just take care of yourself and keep your health as an overall priority.

Hold fast. :heart:


Hi friend.

Man. Sounds like there’s a lot of weight and pressure right now. You’re getting closer to the end and it’s all kind of swarming you. Maybe fear or and being unsure is starting to overwhelm you. I wouldn’t say that God doesn’t want you to waste your skills, talent, time and energy. Maybe there’s a miss understanding of purpose right now but I wouldn’t give up everything you worked for. You’d probably really regret it later, you know?

I know there are a lot of days where you feel exhausted, overwhelmed and like you want to give up, but maybe in these moments you should step back for a moment and allow yourself to just self reflect and relax.

YouTube has a lot of meditation audio that is totally worth looking into. There is also an app called HeadSpace that you can get for your phone. The website for RainyMood is great for helping relaxing and calming your mind. Maybe a nice cup of tea and calm music could help. A warm bath or shower. Dim lights. Maybe a trip to a coffee house. Or even go see a movie whether with a friend or by yourself. Make sure that you’re making time for yourself my friend!

Some of my other fiends turn to things like Rock climbing, Zumbaa and yoga to refresh their brains. I know not everyone enjoys these things but if you do maybe there’s somewhere local to you that you could attend. Yoga can actually be done right at home. Lots of stuff on YouTube.

Maybe for a second just take a step back to self reflect and really ask yourself what you want. Maybe even write it down. Write down the pros and cons of why you do and don’t want to finish your major. And what it would mean to you if you did finish it! You’re getting so much closer to the end of it, what are some things you could do for yourself to help energize, motivate and encourage you the rest of the way? Find these things and then try to connect to them.

You got this my sweet friend. And we’re always here to connect with along the way. To encourage and support you. You don’t have to go at it alone.

  • Kitty