Back to heartsupport

I need serious help


#1

I’m currently sitting at school lunch. Someone made me eat a tater-tot the size of a half dollar, and I can’t keep it down. I feel so sick and disgusted. They keep yelling at me for not eating, but I’m fat and I need to lose weight.


#2

I know how you feel, I use to have family force me to eat at dinner. Not eating however is terrible for your body and can make depression worse and makes it harder to lose weight if that is a goal for you.

Who made you eat or is yelling at you?

If your weight affects you I recommend making a portion goal. Eat but eat smaller sizes. Your body can still get what it needs for food but healthier. A doctor can better recommend calorie intake than I can.


#3

I understand the desire to lose weight – I’ve gained so much #dadweight, haha.

Here’s one of the things that has really helped me: there’s only so much change that we can make in our lives at one time. I used to have these sit down sessions with myself and say, “Geez dude you are so fucked up. Here’s the twelve things you need to change, and here’s how you need to do it, and by when.” I would try really really hard and do good for a little while then crash back down into self-hatred and apathy.

For the past few months since I’ve been in recovery, I gave myself the grace to say: I can’t do all this shit at the same time…I can’t fix my whole life at once…I’ve got to start with just ONE THING at a time, until that one thing becomes a real habit and I don’t have to think about it anymore…so I’ve told myself, I will start with one positive habit at a time until I get 30 days of perfect consistency, and I won’t start ANYTHING ELSE until I can do that.

I started a habit of journaling and doing my recovery work at night and have done it 97 nights in a row now.
I started a habit of doing something I love and enjoy before I start work, and I’ve done that 40 workdays in a row now.
And I’m now starting a habit of waking up early and reading the Bible (it’s cool if you’re not into that, this is something that helps me learn self-love and connects me to a relationship with God).

Point is, I had to have a sit down with myself in my last recovery meeting and say, “Yo, you gotta be kinder to yourself…you’re expecting yourself to workout, go on a diet, do all these things for your wife and kids, read these career books, learn these skills, build into your friendships, etc, etc, etc”…and I was just so overwhelmed by all of those things that I wasn’t making any progress on trying to do any of them effectively, I was just stressed and anxious and disliking myself for feeling like a failure.

So if you DO want to change your weight, and that’s the one thing you want to focus on, just pick ONE habit to start with…and stick with it until it becomes part of your life! Forgive yourself and be kind to yourself and let EVERYTHING ELSE GO that you want to change…just do one at a time, and you’re going to find that you end up making more change faster by focusing in…and you’re kinder to yourself in the process because you’re not stressing about the million things you “should be doing”.

Hope this helps friend. :slight_smile:


#4

thank you for this information, i have been doing it tho. i’ve picked one thing to start with and i keep getting yelled at for it. I started eating smaller portions, that didnt help. I ate whaen i was hungry, (i was eating all the time), that didnt help. I have never really eaten breakfast, and for a week or so, i was just so bust, i kept forgetting to eat lunch. I would eat healthier amounts at dinner, and no one saw the harm in it until i started eating smaller amount of dinner. I stopped being hungery. now, i rarley eat, and when i do, its hard to keep down…