Hey guys. It’s Carolyn again. So a bit of an update on how things are going with me. (As I write this it’s 5:30 AM so bare with any grammar mistakes I make.) This past Thursday I was taken into the hospital for suicidal Ideations. I went through the psychiatric emergency room,got evaluated and then got admitted. That’s a good step in the right direction. But then I started freaking out. This was a hospital that I’ve never been to before. It was all new and to be completely honest? It was scary. I knew not one person there. I freaked out. I started crying, bashing my head into the wall. When the Nurses and Doctors came in, I became even more hysterical. I wanted to get out of there. No scratch that. I NEEDED to get out of there. I felt so out of place, so uncomfortable… that I gave up my treatment to get the hell out. I know that I shouldn’t have. That I should have stayed and got put on medications where I could be monitored and they could be adjusted, but I left. And now I’m stuck. I’ve never broken down like that before. And I’ve been hospitalized 3 Times prior, but all at a different hospital than the one I went to this time. There, going in the second and third time I knew people that worked there, had a relationship built with most of them. I don’t know what in me snapped this time, but I saw a side of myself I never thought I’d see. I’m posting this because I want your guys opinion. Do I Try another Inpatient Center, Go into Residential Treatment or stay outpatient. I’m conflicted at this point. I haven’t self harmed in a while, but I feel that may end soon. And trust me I don’t want to. I know you guys aren’t medical professionals but I feel connected with you all and trust and respect your opinions. And I’m also open to any coping skills or anything else you all think may help. Thanks for reading and Thanks in Advance for responding.