I need to change

This past couple of months have been a wave of emotions for me and I am still learning to let them go and cope with it all. I met a really awesome a guy a few months back and we ended up dating I felt really happy by his side but I also felt some doubt I always do the same thing whenever I date a new person and it is just annoying I feel like I am always looking for validation in other people rather than in myself and that tires me out a lot. It ended up not working out because he was not feeling it and that left me to doubt my self worth it was so emotionally hard for me to move on from that hurt that I was feeling and that would not minimize itself I truly felt like I was dying inside but now I am doing a lot better and am trying to focus on me and not care whether I’m single or not but it is really hard because I want to find someone new even though I need to heal first and make a lot of changes within myself. I also got rid of a toxic person in my life but that led to me not being able to hang around my old group of friends because he is always there with them. My friends often try to convince me otherwise and to still hang out with them but how can I be around someone that I don’t feel safe with I explained some of this to them but still it feels like I am drifting apart with some of them and it sucks. I also feel like my friends don’t care about me if they don’t text me often and I feel like I am always feeling bad about that but honestly that it just my anxiety I know we each have our own lives and that I can’t be depending on anyone other than me but it still gets the best of me. I am also really shy and even though I am trying to change that deep down I care what people think about me if I act like myself I always say I don’t care but I do a bit and I am trying to get my self-confidence really high and feel good with myself.


@omgitzrosie I’m glad that you are taking these steps to become the person you want to be. Keep taking those small steps and moving forward. We all feel bad about ourselves from time to time - some more extreme than others and that’s okay. Keep reaching out to the people who love you and let their truths overpower the lies your head is telling you. You should be so proud of yourself for the progress you’re making - keep focussing on that. You’ll confidence will grow with every step you take.

Hold Fast

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Im sorry your struggling Rosie… I’m glad you were brave enough to post this on the wall. You posting on here is truly amazing! Be proud of that accomplishment. Look for ways (even little things) that make you feel good or help you to feel valuable. I can tell your a strong person and I know you can overcome these feelings.

Love ya girl!

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Hey @omgitzrosie,

Thank you for reaching out! I’m proud of you for deciding to start by taking small steps - that’s where it all starts. In a way, singleness can be healthy because you get to discover who you really are, as opposed to finding your identity in someone else. When I was in high school, I found my identity in my friends; when I left for college, I completely lost myself. It takes some time to learn about yourself, but it’s totally worth it. I, too, grew up relatively anti-social because both of my parents are extremist introverts. Fast-forward to 2018 and I would consider myself relatively extroverted, and that came with years and years of practice and putting myself into uncomfortable social situations. But, life begins outside of your comfort zone. Also, please realize that there is nothing wrong with being shy. If you’re happy being shy, then be shy! :slight_smile:


Hi Rosie!

I’m really happy you are here. But not happy that you are going through all that. Struggling with self worth and self confidence is really hard. I know I’ve been there too. I actually dated this guy who at the time checked off all of my boxes. Tall? Check. Smart? Check. Loves the music I do? Check. I was so in love, but it turns out that he wasn’t. He broke up with me and told me that “there just wasn’t something there”. And that sucked so bad. I just kept searching for what that “thing” was he said I didn’t have. I started assuming what it was. Was I too fat? Too stupid? Too emotional? I mean, I even went as far as thinking that he broke up with me because I wasn’t ready for sex yet. But all of those things aren’t true. I will never know what that “thing” was and I think that’s what hurt most of all.

If you are like me, which it kinda sounds like we share a lot of feelings, you want to be loved and wanted. If someone doesn’t like me it eats at me. Not caring about what people think isn’t easy to learn. But over time it gets easier. For myself it got easier when I finally made friends who love me for me. If your friends don’t understand that being around that person is bad for you then that’s on them. A good friend should always support and love. I’m really proud of you for trying to better yourself. It’s a tough journey but the result is amazing. Idk if I’ll ever not care completely about what others think but now I’m able to forgive myself and love myself enough to walk away from relationships that don’t fulfill me.

Okay! So one little small thing I do that helps that I am going to suggest to you are writing love notes to yourself. On little post it notes write “I am enough” or “I am beautiful” or “not everyone will stay but the best ones will”. I write these little messages to myself and post them all over my room and in notebooks. These little reminders help me on my worst days. Also, if you feel anxious about if a friend is mad at you or doesn’t like you ask them. Now, I know with anxiety that sounds horrible. But trust me, it is so much better getting the truth from that person than worrying until your chest hurts. And most of the time I’ve found that everything was fine. Those are just little tips for you. I’m on the journey of self love too and I’m fighting with you.
You are worthy and you are enough.


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@omgitzrosie :sparkling_heart:

Here is our video response from our live stream earlier. Hold fast friend.