For the last year or so my girlfriend and I have been addicted to drugs. We somehow manage to maintain, to what most people would consider a positive happy life (from what they see). The short of it is that our drug dealer who is this middle aged tatted, toothless wonder has started taking an interest in my girlfriend. To the point where I had to look at him and say, “dude no. Not cool at all, say anything you want about me, please don’t make comments about her like that.” And because he’s this fucking tough guy and has me in his pocket because If I don’t have him I don’t have my drugs and I can’t afford to be sick at work. So I make it a point to watch how I say things to make sure I don’t come off as an asshole, but this is the kicker…she’s told him about a couple of fights we’ve had in the last month and since then he’s treated me differently, very short and dickish on purpose and it’s because he’s got this crush on my girl. And I am in no way worried about my girl having any interest in him, appearance wise he’s disgusting, obnoxious and has no teeth for fuck sake!! Anyway, he’s been purposely making passes and talking to her in a certain tone, flirty and as we were leaving his house, I turn my back for a second and out of the corner of my eye I can see him whisper into my girl’s ear like I’m not there, he didn’t know that I saw him. Let that go, probably said something stupid that my girl pretended to laugh at so she could be nice to him. Like I said, not worried about her wanting him whatsoever. Last thing he did was while we were in the car heading out, he leaned into her car and chatted with her, and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I know he’s doing it on purpose just to try and get a rise out of me and my girl and I have briefly had this discussion and that he’s never gotten weird on her but he does flirt all the time. How do I confront a crazy ass meth head who has threatened to slit my throat if I told her he said this to me, “if anything were to happen to her I’m coming straight for you” as if I’m this out of line abusive boyfriend, which I have NEVER BEEN who keeps me from getting sick and has supplied the both of us drugs for the past 6 months? I can’t tell her he said that or I’ll rock the boat with him and I could be potentially cut off and get my ass kicked. I’m not the type to back down to anyone and have never been but he’s got me by the throat and one slip and I’m fucked. The obvious opinion I’m expecting is to first GET OFF DRUGS…which is easier said than done when I have to function at work to pay bills and can’t afford to be sick or let her be sick. I don’t even know if anyone will read this but If ANYONE can just level with me here and give me their honest opinion that isn’t the obvious. The way he talks to my girlfriend in front of me like I’m not there. Blatantly disrespecting me. Given what you just read. What do I do?
Can you find a new dealer? Maybe someone else. And also yes, try to wean off the drugs. It’s bad to be leaning on someone that much, giving them power over you
I could definitely find another dealer, the trouble is finding one who is as cheap and willing to front you when you can’t pay up front. As disrespectful as he’s been this passed month or so, he’s been a tremendous help with making sure my girl and I don’t get sick. And he knows that just as much as I do. It’s as if it were intended to keep us around. It’s assurance. And I obviously don’t know you personally, and I want to start off by saying that I am completely shocked that I posted on here and got a response. Again, I don’t know your position in life but I hope you know what I mean by that. Sometimes you get so down on yourself and you feel like you’re all alone and no one understands what you’re going through. You were the only one who said anything and I really appreciate that. I’m in a very bad way right now with the mistakes I’ve made and I let myself get here all because of an addiction. I don’t even care at this point if I live or die. Not saying that I’m suicidal like wanting to hurt myself or take myself out in any way, but that I don’t care anymore. Honestly anything is better than this feeling of depending on a little blue pill, and not even to get high. Just to feel normal. It’s awful and I need to seek help. This is the first time I’ve ever told anyone this. And it feels good that you read and replied with a suggestion and you emphasized with me. I’m sorry I’m new to this I’m still shocked that I got a response. But yeah this guy has a lot of power over me and my girlfriend. Just based on what you read initially. Do you think he’s provoking me?
Yes I think he is, perhaps having you and your girl come to him and reIy on him has inflated his head. Your best opinion here–in my opinion of course you don’t have to follow it if you disagree–is try and get off the drugs. Seek help. And also ask your girl to do it with you. It’s not healthy, this addiction, and one day in exchange for drugs, someone could demand for something very dear to you. The only power anyone should have over you is when they enter your heart, not when they have something you are addicted to.
I wish you luck, and always remember that you are not alone. Don’t let this situation or drugs change you.
Before I say anything… I’m also an addict who has to keep a job and function like an actual adult because… Retail don’t seem to know what sick days are. I was never not high for more than a few hours for about 6-7 years. Joining HeartSupport’s community was the best thing I did. I’m VERY early on in my recovery, however these guys have introduced me to online NA meetings, and with time I’ll attend in person too. The only thing you can do to get at a drug dealer is stop giving him business and tell anyone you know that goes to him to do the same. I’m not going to tell you that you have to get off drugs, but I’m not going to advise you get a new dealer either. I think you should look into ways to get yourself off the drugs and convince your girlfriend to do the same… Speak to your doctor see what they suggest. You’re not doing yourself any favours keeping a relationship up with this guy in any way. At the end of the day its upto you… I mean, if you’re high this doesnt matter right? You need to find another way to help you function, speak to your doctor about ways you can come down without getting too sick and talk to other people who have overcome addiction. Whatever you chose to do, we’re here to help you and support you however we can.
Hold Fast
Kayla
Hey friend,
I’m proud of you for reaching out to us, this is cherished.
I highly encourage you to seek professional help and talk to your doctor about the struggles you are feeling acting as well as your partner.
If you are being threatened I also encourage you to seek legal action.
As @Kayla has stated there are many resources online and offline that are going to be of aid in these situations.
You are not alone, we believe in you. We are here for you.
Hold fast.
With love,
Lyss (ur old pal Blurryface)
I really need to focus on the fact that I can’t have someone in my life who has this power over me. I don’t ever want to feel like this again. I just need to figure out a way to get time off from work to allow myself to be sick. I’ve already cut my doses down to half of what it used to be, so I guess that’s a start. Also I would prefer to have my girlfriend do this with me so we can help each other. I guess it’s a good thing he made moves on her, gives me another good reason to focus on because I refuse to let that happen again. Thank you so much for responding to this. It means a lot to me. This forum is a wonderful tool.
I’m proud of you for trying, making a start. If you work hard, you can accomplish all you set your mind to.
Stay strong, friend
It’s been almost a week since he threatened to take my life, but since then I haven’t been myself. I just keep replaying the look in his eyes and the way he expressed himself to me. I’ve never seen such animalistic behaviors in a person before. He obviously scared me but I’ve overcome fears in the past but I know this one will be much different than anything I’ve ever had to deal with. The biggest problem I have with this is wanting to tell my girlfriend. She is friends with him. And he is also our dealer and I don’t want to mess anything up and get us both sick or worse…hurt by him. My girlfriend and I tell each other everything and our communication has always been strong, but not being able to tell her what he said to me that day is affecting me and I don’t want it to affect my relationship. Do I tell her what he said? And risk him finding that out and constantly looking over my shoulder? Or do I keep it from her? Would it scare her as much as it did me? Would it make her want to talk to him because if that’s the case then I’m a dead man!!! I don’t know what the fuck to do!!!