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I never felt accepted and went through many things that you did too. I still don’t feel accepted at times, and half of it being a Christian. Love your music!
Hard to feel like so much of your story is feeling disconnected from others. At some point it feels like - what is so wrong with me that people won’t just accept me? It is hard to make sense out of chronic rejection. It leads us to places of assumption - well, I assume it’s because I’m just not good enough, just not lovable, just too alien, etc. And then when we carry those beliefs with us, then even when we are accepted, we believe it won’t last because deep underneath we’re not enough. When they discover who we really are, they’ll leave like everyone else. This is a hard thing to heal, to become whole in this place -not just vulnerable to allow others in, but vulnerable to ACCEPT their acceptance of us. To believe it’s true. That is a scary thing. Because every time we have in the past, that hope and vulnerability led to crushing pain. The challenge is that it is the ONLY way we can ever receive it, is to choose to be open to being hurt. If we don’t, then we always keep people at arms distance, and we’re alone, whether or not people are around us.
@heartsupportwall6 well said! Thanks for sharing those thoughts.
@heartsupportwall6 that is me! Even if I couldn’t see it. I’m 34 and never had it gotten easy trying to fit in or feel accepted. As long as God accepts me I’m fine with it.