After I went offline. My friend accused me of being a “filthy autistic liar”. When all I wanted was some space. I went to play video games and he saw my status because we added each as friends on a video game console.
I left my text this morning explaining why this wasn’t going to work out for me and that we just aren’t compatible. Before he could go on his rage to gaslight me, I blocked them. And I have no intention of returning at least for now
Because it feels like its way that I operate is making him upset. And the way he does things make me upest too. We have a hard time meeting each other’s needs and expectations. And communication from him is really harsh and it hurts me.
You’ve handled things pretty well @Amaris. There is a time when enough is enough. You don’t deserve to be insulted and receive so much anger. When this person interacts like this, they also make the decision of communicating that way and it is up to them to learn to do differently. Using the word “autistic” also sounded as an insult there and that is once again not okay at all.
I’m so sorry that you’ve had to set strong boundaries in this messy context. It would be so much easier if people who are upset would be okay to just manage their emotions then come back to have some more peaceful conversations.
In any case, you never deserved to be insulted and lashed out. What he said really was the result of his anger. Not of who you are, not of your worth, not of your right to be loved and respected.
I’m sending hugs to you. Make sure to take care of yourself today. These kind of interactions can be really taxing emotionally.
This community will still be here if you need an ear to listen too. You are loved and cared for.
Big cheers to you. It sounds like you knew where your boundaries were and took a firm decision when they crossed it. That person sounds like they were sort of using you as an emotional punching bag, and it’s best they sit alone in their own house and work through their feelings and understand why they’re name calling you.
Please do something nice /self-care for yourself today. This much have been tough to go through. There will be other better friends in your future who accept and love you for you.
(Like we do here )
I really feel appreciated and heard in this community. I always appreciate the support and it makes me feel less lonely. I always try my best to support myself but having that additional support from others makes me feel good. Coming from a place where I always had to go through things alone.
Great! I’m so glad you’re finding comfort in the HS community.
Learning to enforce personal boundaries is a journey of growth, and it sounds like you enforced a boundary on a relationship that shouldn’t get past your “shield”.
Comparing it to music - I feel our relationships should be in “harmony” with our inner song. Not in dissonance, a sour note that is out of harmony with how we expect to be treated. Out of harmony with the music of our heart. The love we expect and deserve.
A strong shield around you will keep out the people of disharmony. The more clearly you hear your heart song, the stronger shield you will carry. The better you will attract harmonious people. Repelling those that ruin your music.
Hi Amaris
You have handeled the situation very well. I think you truly did the rational thing. I sometimes have similar problems with my friends (not to that extent) but we have been able to talk things out so far. I think this was a prime example of a good assertive behavior. There is no point in being in contact with somebody who does not respect us and calls us names. I hope you can find better people to hang out with.
)
