I told myself that if I made it this far I can’t see myself being successful so theres no point in going on. Realistically, I don’t see myself making it in the outside world but that isn’t really important to me. I don’t live for me. I take no joy or happiness in living for the things I want anymore. The joy for me is in the journey to make others happy. I live for those around me and honestly it sucks. I love those around me and seeing what suicide has done to me and those people hurts way too much to do that to others but fucken hell, I want to die. Every day feels harder than the last and I have no potential to do what I want to do.
I feel useless and I am worth nothing to anybody. I feel like I can never do anything worth anyones time and I feel useless to others. I’d rather be used and thrown away then ignored, that way maybe i’d actually feel something.
Every life has worth. It is noble of you that you don’t want to hurt others and instead want to live for the benefit of others, but you need to also take care of yourself. True purpose in life can be found in the situations where you both are able to enjoy what you do and help others at the same time.
Success is a tricky one. Personally I believe that hanging on for as long as you have and reaching out to the Heart Support community in itself is a small success. It shows that a part of you does want things to get better. Maybe try and hold onto that.
Love yourself. You may feel useless now, but you don’t have to stay that way. You may not see worth in yourself right now but that can change. Pursue the good in life and remember to love yourself even as you love others. Life can and will get better if you keep trying.
Hey there,
You are worthy of life, happiness and joy. I can see you have fought a lot and we are so glad you are here. You are so loved and valued, despite the thoughts that tell you you are not. Know that we love you and are so happy you are here. Keep fighting my friend. You can do this.
Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes
It’s okay to fall down. You can’t expect yourself to be strong all the time. How can you say you think you’re worthless when you live for others? We need more souls like you. I’m glad you’re here.
Potential doesn’t come free. It may take work, but you can do it. You can. I believe in you. I know you’re tired, but remember joy.
Hold Fast <3