yesterday, i had post on facebook i was going to kill myself and alot people wanted me go to the ER. My sister was crying and got alot people upset. Also alot people think im a mental case for many reason. I also snap at an old co worker.
But I don’t want to be on drugs, im been taking CBD oil and feel it did help alot. However still coming down the medication. Please tell me some breathing techniques or any other method by exploding!
I battle with suicidal thoughts frequently and have to really try to help myself come out of it. In the moment of hurting I know that I feel very sad, lonely, helpless and hopeless. I want to give up. I feel angry. But deep down I know that I do not want that. I want to thrive and survive. I want to live! I want to learn how to find happiness within myself and share goodness in the world which is not always easy.
Try writing out all of your anger, sadness and feelings somewhere. Just burst it all out. I do that sometimes. It doesn’t necessarily have to go public. In fact I often make my emotionally heated posts private till I’m calmed down and can filter better. But releasing all of the built up negative energy really helps and by the end of it, I usually feel pretty mentally exhausted. But in a way that is good. Because it let it out.
Finding some music to listen to helps. I don’t recommend sad or anger music. As it could feed the mood. Try to find something soft and gentle. To help you wind down. To help you come down gently from feeling so sad, depressed and hurt.
Maybe even sift through the VODS of heart support. See if something can really stand out to you and help you with how you are feeling and then share it here. Whether what stood out to you, or just whatever you are feeling in the moment.
People naturally will want to tell you to go to the ER or reach out to someone who can help. They just don’t want to see you hurting. I know for me, people don’t always know how to help me. I’ve had my moments of not being very receiving of people. Leaving them to feel helpless in helping me. And that’s hard. And scary.
I try my best to set up a safety system for myself and with people I can trust. That way when I fall into these moments I have some sort of “escape plan”
And honestly, it doesn’t always work. I’ve had to go into the hospital and ask for help even when it was out of my element. Even if I didn’t want to face the doctors, the looks or whatever I’d have to go through. But I did it anyway. Because I know it’s imortant.
Let the doctors be there and help you. Let them offer you a safe place where you can be okay. That’s what they are there for.
I’ve had both good and bad experiences with doctors but what’s important is that we are gentle with ourselves and allow ourselves to do what we need so we can be okay.
I want to see you okay. I want to see you feel better. I care. You are important.
Take it easy my friend. Lots of love
There are things inside of us need to be kill. We should never kill our selves. Whatever is bothering you, I hope you will overcome. Thank you for sharing. God bless you.
dont me asking what are VODs
VODS are the archives of previous streams on the heart support channel. You go into the channel and click on videos and it’ll show you videos of previous streams as well as clips and highlights. Allows you to watch streams that you missed 
Like a replay
Is the youtube channel or website
On their twitch website. Just click on their profile and visit their videos category. It’ll list all of their VODS, highlights and clips.
Unless for some reason they don’t save VODS. Some streamers don’t, so that’s possible.
Help me I’m really sad today
what bother you today, that you need help with?
@Metalskater1990 ,
hi! im sorry your feeling this way but to be honest maybe going to the ER is probably the safest. im not taking sides but sometimes doing what is suggested like going to the ER . im not going again what u want but the safest is whats the best. your not a mental case, your just struggling and you struggling means you need help. Being put on medicine for your depression is not a drug . its medicine , huge difference. I feel like writting how you feel on a piece of paper and keeping that close by may help not sure.
hold fast and you’re worth it <3
-ashley
@Metalskater1990 ,
as @anon17277947 was saying click this link -> HeartSupport Live stream .
they have a thing called videos “vods” from previous streams and they make highlights from the topic of the streams . their times are in PDT/PST .
they also have creative encouragement so i hope you can check it out sometime. <3
-ashley
Why don’t you want to be on prescription drugs? Is it the side effects? Is it the monetary cost? Is it because mental illness isn’t “real” until you are taking medication for it? Is it fear of judgment? Is it something else?
You sound like you got lucky with your suicidal posts on Facebook and people answered. I quit using Facebook for several years after answering a suicidal post from a young woman I hardly knew. She had many friends and I was the first responder. Bad sharing algorithms and some cultures inherent to the platform make Facebook a bad place for suicidal declarations and notes. If you make a suicidal declaration on Facebook and nobody responds, it does not mean that nobody cares about you.
George Mallory
Prescriiption drug help for a while, but then I started having more anxeity prolbems and more dark htoughts. It also if I miss the day, it real screw me and was not easy to always get them. So I deicde to do CBD gummies,becuase help with my anxiety and it does not have side affect. But thank you for your concerd.
Yea, not all medications work for everyone and it can take time to find the right ones. I understand. I had to try a few before I found the right one. One of them made me feel more anxious, irritable and suicidal. So it takes a lot of patience and time.
It’s true through that you have to be consistent with them.
I hope CBD works for you. Some of my friends use it as well.
@Metalskater1990 I can respect concerns about side-effects proven to exist by experimentation. Not everyone tries medication. How can I help you cope without medication? What is making you suicidal, depression or anxiety or maybe something else?
As for breathing: 1) Deep breath in through your nose, hold for three seconds, and then breathe out through your mouth. Repeat at least three times. 2) Deep breath in, hold for four seconds, breathe out, hold for four seconds, repeat. 3) Breathing meditation: breathe all the way in and all the way out and all the way in and all the way out without pausing. Focus entirely on your breathing. The goal is to silence your inner voice for a while and just exist.
There is also mindfulness stretching exercises, but I don’t really know how to teach them. It is like regular stretching but slow and quiet, “listening to your body” and feeling the dopamine flow. I don’t know how to find that in outpatient.
I like to burn through depression, when I can, by listening to music that exaggerates what I’m feeling. Symphonic Metal (Within Temptation, Delian, Sirenia) is good depression and anger music. Imperative Reaction is good “I hate myself” music.
I hope it doesn’t come to this, but if it’s inpatient or suicide, please choose inpatient first. It might not be the end of the world and even if it is, suicide will still be there. Inpatient psychiatrists do like medications but they also know the side effects better than outpatient psychiatrists. They aren’t going to knowingly try to put you on a medication that is punishing if you miss a dose and they should listen to your concerns. There are also social workers who will find ways to make the medications affordable.