From foobie: I probably haven’t enjoyed life for a long time. Last night I was thinking of killing myself and deleting all my social media. My sister has stopped talking to me and I had to finally block her today. I tried talking to her friend and she ghosted me too. I blocked her as well. I stopped being able to do school work or eat. I am tired all the time no matter how much rest I get. My fibromyalgia is coming back because I don’t go outside anymore. There’s mountains of clean clothes in my room that I don’t bother to put away. There’s clothes on my bed and things I need to sort on my bed. I just sleep on the side that’s empty. Im tired of everything. Nobody really gives a shit about me. Everyone always leaves
From foobie: Everyone always leaves eventually. My friend ghosted me years ago for no reason. My sister and her friend ghosted me. Eventually people just stop talking to me. They don’t want to be around me. It doesn’t make a difference if I’m around or not.
Hey Foobie, that makes me sad to read, I want to start by saying that, that will never happen to you here, we care about you very much and you will always have friends and a place to come to.
Why did your sister ghost you? do you think its a brother/sister thing as sometimes siblings can be quite unkind but its not always meant.
I dont know who else doesnt want you around friend but I do and Im sure I can speak for many others here that also want foobie here in our community. Stick around with us, it wouldnt be the same without you, Much Love lisa. x
I see you and I hear you. We all do here. If you feel alone, please know there’s no way this community would ever leave you. I know we haven’t interacted directly, but I’ve seen you in this community for a while, and you’ve always been so brave for reaching out when you need it. These burden that you carry, this exhaustion that you feel, don’t have to be silenced or dealt with just on your own. What you go through, how you feel, what’s on your heart, matters so much. If people left you, then they are missing out on sharing life with someone who has this incredible force inside. You being here, being you, is a gift to those who have the chance to interact with you.
I know this probably sounds stupid when you feel stuck at your home, isolated and overwhelmed. Also that there’s no guarantee to know if someone is trustworthy when they say they won’t leave. I hope will all my heart though, that you will keep giving a chance to this place, but first and foremost to yourself. Because you matter so very much, friend. There’s no one on this earth, and no circumstance in your life, that could ever change this fact.
If I may ask, are you safe right now? Are you still having thoughts of ending your life today?
I’m so very sorry also that you had to block your sister. This sounds like a truly heartbreaking and significant event in your life. I’ve myself had to set boundaries with family members, certainly from different reasons than yours, but it’s in itself a type of decision that carries a lot of grief. “Family” is a big word that can come with its share of hurt and disappointment. My heart truly goes out to you as you navigate this. Although if you had to make that decision in order to protect yourself and to protect your heart, then I hope you keep in mind that it was okay to block her, and you are not guilty of anything by making this decision.
You are not alone. It may not be a direct/1 on 1 contact, but you have friends right here in this community.
PS - the guys are doing all kinds of silly things on stream this week. If you need something in the back to bring a smile or even make you think about something else even just for a minute, then I’d surely encourage you to come hang out on Twitch. You don’t have to talk in chat if you don’t want to. I’ve personally been having a rough time myself, and just listening to it like a podcast has just brought a bit of relief. Leaving the link here: Twitch <3
I have been ghosted. So has my wife. She is heartbreakingly wonderful and great company, although sometimes she can be very intense and opinionated. I think she was ghosted because of that intensity. I almost ghosted her, but I’m glad I didn’t.
Good people are ghosted all the time. A good person who is feeling insecure and perhaps fears being ghosted, often project an emotional energy that can make others uncomfortable, so in a sense, fear of being ghosted causes them to be ghosted.
Is your sister around? If she is, ask her if she has observed anything about the way you act that puts people off. She may or may not offer useful information, but I think it’s worth a try.
When you say “everyone-always,” is that factually correct, or does it just feel that way? Is it a lot of people or less than five? Typically, friendships routinely grow and fade. Sometimes people grow apart for many months or even many years, then come back together for a while. I’ve only had a couple of long-term friends that I’ve stayed close to, and we have stopped talking to each other off and on.
As Lisalovesfeathers said, you will not be ghosted here.
We care about you.
We are here.
Be kind with yourself.
Perhaps take a little walk around your block and listen for the whisper of the wind. Listen for the bird songs. Hear the leaves rustling in the wind.
Let nature and God remind you that you are loved. You are cared for.
Get out and move your body. Cherish that you can. What a gift.
From foobie: Depression has hit me so bad that I have forgotten how to shade. I know how to draw still but I get stuck when I have to do the shading part. What brought me joy has turned to disinterest. I am avoiding doing school work because I don’t know how to do it now. I think I have completely burned myself out. I just don’t want to do anything anymore. I’m so tired. I used to have so many ideas but I don’t know how to put them into my work anymore
From foobie: I’m safe. I am feeling better now but I am still dissociating and everthing feels very slow. I am alwys hungry but I’m tired of getting up for food.
From foobie: My sister doesn’t live with me. She also lives in another city but we only talked through text. I would rarely get to see her but every time i bring it up that she doesn’t talk to me she just says she needs to work on time. but she never makes any changes. She I know she has depression too but it’s a slap in the face when she is posting all the time with her friends and doesn’t bother to read my messages. I was just tired of seeing her be happy without me so I blocked her
Hi there foobie,
It sucks to feel like we’re losing skills we used to have, and particularly hurts when the joy of old hobbies gets lost. That’s so tough and can lead to this spiral of exhaustion, because why is it worth doing anything, when nothing feels worthwhile – when there’s no joy?
Everything you’re going through is real, and it’s understandable that it hurts. We’re here for you as you work your way through these challenges. Things can get better, but yeah, it sounds like they suck right now.
Here for you,
Hey Foobie. It does make a difference if you’re around or not, and I’m sorry that people in your life have not been reflecting that truth and help you be aware of how much you matter. It is truly heartbreaking to feel like we’re only meant to be forgotten, that no matter how hard we try it just never seem to be good enough in order to be loved. Somehow, not everyone is able to embrace unconditional love the way it should be, and the complexity of relationships can make it something that turns out to be a weapon against ourselves. I’m truly sorry that people who are so important to you ended up ghosting you. I’ve been ghosted in the past as well, and it’s truly heartbreaking when you just see someone you care for moving away from you, without even telling you why, or what’s actually going on. It makes sense to feel like the cause must be you when you’re left with questions unanswered, and only a broken heart. What this situation says though, is only about them - their way to communicate, their boundaries, their willingness to commit to a relationship, but it doesn’t say anything about you, and even less about how worthy you are. The way other people do, what they decide or what they say, does not define who you are, and does not assert if whether you matter or not. You matter. Under any circumstance, and regardless of what people said to you or did to you. You matter because you are, and because you are an absolutely unique human being in this world that no one else could ever replace. Ever.
Proud of you, Foobie. It’s okay if for now things are very slow. Take it easy, one step at a time. They are times when everything feels heavy and we need to be kind to ourselves during those seasons.
Thinking of you today and sending virtual hugs your way.
From foobie: My anxiety has gotten so bad that every waking moment it feels like someone is standing on my chest. It doesn’t help that I’ve barely been able to sleep because I keep having nightmares. I wake up about 3 times per night due to nightmares. I’m just so tired and I don’t want to do school work at all any more. Even doing deep breaths makes my heart beat really fast
Wow! I’m sorry you’re having such difficulty. Unfortunately, sleep loss itself can trigger anxiety, which leads to more sleep loss. Are you receiving therapy? If not, ask your doctor for a referral. One thing that might help is to do enough exercise to become physically tired. That may enable you to sleep more soundly. In addition, exercise promotes mental clarity and the production of “feel-good” hormones.
Schoolwork can make you feel mentally and emotionally exhausted, and even while not having been physically active, the body can feel tired as well. When you are in that state, exercise usually leads to feeling less tired.
If you don’t get decent sleep soon, you really should talk to your doctor or if you have one, your therapist.
I hope it gets better for you really soon.
From foobie: I have a therapist that i see once a week. I have had insomnia for about a year but the anxiety has just started. I’m on less than an hour of sleep right now because I thought I was tired enough and didn’t take my sleep meds. Can’t sleep until tonight though or it will wreck my sleep schedule
From foobie: I also stopped going to the gym because I was so tired all the time
Hey Foobie, I wondered how you were doing friend? just checking in to let you know that you are loved and you are missed. xx
From foobie: I’m not doing very good. My boyfeiend has started to ignore me too because of his mental health. He told me he didn’t want to talk about it and he didn’t care. My sister still hasn’t talked to me