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I really don't know

I kind of just feel lost and disconnected in life. Ever since I was a little kid, I have always wanted to be a truck driver. I guess it was just something about driving a big truck was cool. Back in 2019, I ended up making that dream a reality so I got my Commercial Drivers License just so I could be licensed to drive a commercial truck. Fast forward to now November 2021 I am having second thoughts about it all.

What exactly do you do in situations where you pay so much money to go to a school and earn something where you think it’s going to make you happy and do good things for your life, but in the end it’s the opposite? It also doesn’t help that depression/anxiety gets in the way and controls it all. Just being overwhelmed and just lost in life it feels like.

Thank you to anyone who even ends up reading this. It probably doesn’t even make any sense or whatever, but it’s kind of hard to explain what exactly how I am feeling.

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Hi drobofficial
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and concernes with us. I understand life can be very confusing. I am sure many people here can relate to what you are saying including me. You are not alone in this :wink:

I really appreciate the reply. Life is very confusing in these thoughts. It’s just what do you even do in these situations?

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Honestly you just have to try things out and hope something works. Thats what I do anyways. Not randomly tho. Try to focus on one problem at a time. that also helps :wink:

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hello there!

Lovely to meet you! Thank you for trusting us and sharing your thoughts here!

The way I look at any investment into education of any sort/ any schooling/ any training is that it was an investment in myself. All the lessons learnt, all the new skills and things learnt all are part of me. The experiences associated with it too, the friends, the routines, even the exams and stress, all taught me something.

It was an investment that I deemed worthy then, and present day me has to remember that. Things may not have panned out exactly how we wished, but we made the best choices we could back then, and you followed your dreams.

Depression and anxiety can make the best, most funnest dream job hard and dreary. Are you seeing any professional to help you navigate through that? Any meds or other coping skills being used?
You worked hard to get here, and I commend you for that.

If you worked on the dep//anxiety, maybe some of the joys of the job may return, do you think?

We’re happy to be here for you, and we’re really glad you came back and posted.

Thank you so much for the reply. That means everything to me. I’ve been involved with HS for several years now, but hardly ever write on here. Going to college or trade school or anything where you go to earn a degree/certificate of some sort is definitely an investment. You’re right though, maybe that time was something I wanted to do and now I realize that it’s just not for me in the long run. Believe it or not, my lifelong dream, something I want to do is just being in a band and tour the world. In this day and age, there’s no promising for that.

I don’t take any professional help for my mental health or anything. I’ve tried meditation before and I just can’t stay focused and keep at it every time. Sometimes I just drown everything out with alcohol to help numb everything, but I absolutely dislike doing that, but sometimes it’s hard to control yourself from harming. Maybe I should look into seeking professional help.

Thank you so so so much for the reply back. Hopefully life gets better in the long run.

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Perhaps you haven’t found the right type of meditation for you. There are a lot of different methods and for me, very few work. I’ve latched onto mindfulness meditation because it doesn’t take anything more than being in the moment you’re in right now. You can control self harm with out drowning yourself in alcohol if you find the tools to help you so, yes you most certainly should seek professional help.

There are reasons behind you wanting to hurt yourself and a therapist will help you discover those things and give you tools to cope and heal. :hrtlegolove:

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Meditation, self-care, therapy, meds, there are many quivers in the bow that can help us feel better. It takes a little work and a little time to know what will work for us now, or how to tweak our old tools and tricks.

You’re in good company here, glad to keep talking with you!

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Maybe I haven’t found the right meditation. I have tried numerous meditation apps such as Headspace, Calm, Bloom, 10 Percent Happier just to name a few. Majority of those apps you have to pay a subscription for. I just want to be able to have a plan where I can do it without interruptions or have something get in the way of it all. It’s just having that motivation to even do it. Majority of the time I don’t even have the motivation to go outside or get out of bed.

Thank you for the reply back and giving some advice. Means a lot.

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I’ll share this with you. It’s really helped me a lot.

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Thank you so much for this. I’ll look into it!

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