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I really have no idea what to do

Im friends with benefits with this guy and i initally have feelings for him. He really cared for me when i was sick bringing me to see doctor. We hung out and held hands as if we are boyfriend and girlfriend.
But i guess slowly, i started to lost feelings once i met this new guy through a dating app. He was really nice. He cook for me, we played games, and we cuddled. And i guess that i have feelings for this new guy already. I tend to overthink whenever this new guy doesn’t reply me.
And i feel disappointed in myself. For not being able to honest to this fwb of mine. Soon i guess i overthink, and cry every night… What should i do?

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Hey @Jan,

I’m sorry this situation is making you cry every night. Of course it’s not an easy situation but I’m sure it can be handled with all the precautions and care that every person involved may need, including you. :heart:

It sounds that you’re not sure right now about your feelings for both of them. And it also seems that both of those relationships are at the edge of being something more, meaning you will have to make a choice and be clear about that at a moment, to communicate with them.

I can’t tell you what do to, who to chose obviously. But I guess what remains important is to try to reflect on how you feel, on what comes from your heart: what do you feel for each one of them right now? what do you expect from those relationships? what are you afraid of/what’s preventing you to take a step further with one of them?

I’m sorry if my reply isn’t much helpful or raises more question than answers. As it remains highly intimate, the answer regarding what you should do remains entirely yours. But I hope that everything will go as smooth as possible, for each one of you. I couldn’t underline the importance of having a regular and honest communication with them, especially in times when you’re doubting, when you all give to each other unclear/implicit messages.

I also hope that you don’t beat yourself up for this. You don’t chose to have feelings for someone. It just happens to be like this. I believe in you and in your capacity to take the right decision and to respect everyone in this situation. I’m standing by your side. And this community is here to support you through this moment. You are not alone, okay? :heart:

Hold fast. :heart:

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That’s tough. I think it’s just really important to be honest with yourself and whoever youre seeing. It’s okay to see who you want but just be honest with those you are involved with. If you need a break from your FWB that’s okay. Seeing a new guy is totally within your right. But I think it’s good to honest with anyone new you meet. With how you are feeling. If you get serious don’t lead the other person on. I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to lead you on right?

Don’t over stress it or over think it. Just take a moment to self reflect and figure out what you want to do and do that. :heart:

Communication and honesty goes a long way and really prevents a lot of unnecessary stress.

Stay strong

  • Kitty
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I agree with what has been said. Emotions when it comes to infatuation and love are fickle and unpredictable. The best thing to do is to have the courage to communicate with both men about your feelings. If you are unsure about who to choose, there are so many things you can do to help you make up your mind:
-take a break from both and see who you miss more.
-think about who you think about more.
-tell them your predicament and see how they take it, sometimes that can reveal their true colors
There are so many ways to try to decide. Just be patient with yourself and know that we are here for you :slight_smile:

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This is actually solid advice. Sometimes taking that break to just self reflect is good. Or just telling them you don’t want to commit until you are sure.

Ask yourself if you want to settle down in a relationship or if you want to be more open so you can enjoy yourself with others. Honestly, that’s okay if thats what you want to do. Just try to be honest about whatever that is. (: You’ll feel the best that way.

Like @CXIY said, there are many ways to go about it. Just do what its best for you.

1 Like