I really need help please

Umm hey … I’m Zoe again … I’ve been here a year ago I think … I’m broken again … the feeling that I’m selfish and would never love anyone started to come again …
I thought I loved that boy so much and he was perfect, he loved me so much and he could do anything for me even if it was at his own cost and he knew everything about me, what I like and what I hate and literally everything… and my feelings suddenly went away without warning… I hurt him So much then and so I came here last time… and now I am a very, very, very selfish person… I can’t love anyone and I’m not attached to anyone, not only about boys… I can’t feel any love for any of my family or friends… Only my feelings towards everyone are pity or to prove to myself and others that I am still a nice and caring person…but in reality I never care about anyone…I am selfish and I love myself. I just admit that I love myself very much and I think this is my problem…
Also, I feel like a terrible person… I am never satisfied with one person. I always keep my eyes on other boys, even if what I have is the boy of my dreams… I am 17 and I think that may be the reason, but my friends of this age also do not feel this way… I feel that Something is wrong with me… I feel selfish, rigid, ungrateful, and don’t deserve anything in this life…
Please help me… I need real advice and no one can help me… Please tell me why I can’t really love someone? Why can’t I just be satisfied with one person? Why do I have to be this horrible character that I am now… so dramatic and complex with feelings and everything is bad with me… Why?
This may just seem like a teenage girl drama with her feelings and everyone goes through it…but I’m really scared and upset…I spend every night crying so hard and then I fall asleep…just because of this…emotions are the most important thing in my life and also the most complicated thing in it … Please help me to regain my feelings and love again … Please …
I am so sorry for my broken English, I really hope you understand what I want to say :broken_heart:


One thing you need to be assured of right away, is that you can feel, and evidently intensely feel emotions. This is evident because you are crying yourself to sleep.

There is much more to a person’s thoughts and feelings than they are consciously aware of. Sometimes a person’s intuition is compelling, leading to a decision such as letting go of feelings towards someone without consciously knowing why. According to experts, 70 to 93% of our communication is nonverbal. That makes the odds fairly high that a decision to separate can be based on nonverbal cues.

Get your feelings for him suddenly go away, or did you suddenly become aware of their absence? The feelings may have gradually diminished over time, but then one day, you became aware they were gone. It’s nobody’s fault when that happens. When a person’s intuition tells them that there is no future in the relationship, or there is a problem that a person can’t put their finger on, it’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do to be upfront and honest towards the person whom you are leaving.

An important part of developing empathy is to love yourself. You may be in a culture that considers self-love to be selfish, but it’s not. It’s much easier to relate to and understand the needs of others, when you understand your own. The absence of self-love invariably means an absence of self-confidence. That state of mind is not good for you or those around you.

It sounds like your self-directed insecurity is distracting you from feeling the caring and connections you so desire. Put another way, perhaps your concerns about not feeling or caring, has your focus turned inward, instead of outward towards those you wish to care about.

I can tell by your writing that you are a nice person. Stop worrying about whether or not you are. Know that you are, and you have a generous heart. If you aren’t worried about proving yourself, you can pay more attention to those around you. I guess in a way, proving yourself comes naturally when you’re not worrying about proving yourself.

It’s really where, especially when you’re young, to have one person meet all of your physical and emotional needs. We usually end up with a few different friends, based on interests and activities.

At 17, you are experiencing a lot of changes mentally, emotionally and physically. Besides that, your life circumstances are also changing rapidly. Managing your time and figuring out priorities is an ongoing challenge. In other words, you have a lot of stuff going on at once, and the pressure can be hard to deal with.

There is dissonance in the idea that you feel that you are a terrible person, and also perceive yourself as selfish. If you were truly selfish, you wouldn’t care about being a terrible person.

There is no answer to that because the question is based on a non-fact. You can love someone. It doesn’t happen overnight, and you can’t force it. Usually when you’re around someone for a while, and you value each other’s company, love will manifest.

Be patient with yourself. Don’t be afraid of your feelings. You don’t need to be scared and upset. Acknowledge your feelings, then decide the best way of responding to them.

By the way, your English seems to be really good. Please stay in touch. Wings