I feel like my life is useless. My mental health I struggle with. I’m no good for a relationship. I wanna suicide for 7 years but I held on. It’s getting scary because I think I reached my point of no return. I’m thinking of ordering some Nembutal. If I do it’s gonna be too easy for me to overdose. I shut myself in and don’t communicate with anyone. I’m tired of this world /society. I feel like I’m forcing myself to go on and it’s getting harder everyday. I feel like I’m wasting my time going on for nothing. I felt like my life was over for a long time. I just don’t know. Lonely angry depressed tired hopeless
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Been there my dude. And often visit. But you just have to keep your head up. Yes substances help. But its only temporary. It isnt going to solve anything. Ive been in a new state for 2 years and still dont have a group of friends i hang with. My phone is always dry. I sleep when everyone is awake and it does get lonely. But you just have to wait for the next day to come. Bc it isnt like this forever. We all have ups and downs. And the downs even though they seem like a long time wont stay for long. Look at the worst football team… always doing horrible, havent won all season. But they still have loyal fans rooting for the next game. And always will. Just keep your head up my dude. And i know you got this.
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Hi friend. I’m so sorry that you are having such a difficult time right now. You are NOT useless. I know right now that maybe it’s hard to believe that, but it’s true. You matter! You hold value!
I understand that endless battle of suicidal ideation because I too have been fighting that war within myself for so many years. There have been a few times I even was hospitalized and taken to the ICU for overdose. It was awful.
Friend, you don’t have to go at this alone. There are people who care for you. And there are a lot of people who can relate to your story and all of the things you are feeling.
I know it can feel like you’re wasting time. You’re not friend. You are a human being who is struggling and that’s okay. It can get better. It really can.
Heart Support has a couple books. One is called Dwarf Planet, it’s a book and guide through depression and there’s another called Re-Write that is a book and guide through self harm. Maybe these books could be of help for you. You can look up those book titles here where there is an option to purchase them or request a free copy. Often funded by volunteers who donate to Heart Support to help put these books in the hands of those who are hurting.
Even if these books aren’t for you, I hope you are able to find the strength and courage to keep on fighting my friend. To keep going. You are worth so much even in the times you may not feel like. You are always welcome here.
And you’re always welcome to join us in streams twitch.tv/heartsupport and to join us in the heart support community discord: https://discord.gg/AKCQ2Nk
You are loved and cared for. Stay strong my friend.
- Kitty
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