I relapsed after 193 days

so…uhm, hi, I’m new here. don’t really know how it works around here but I’m really desperate for some support and kind words. today I relapsed after being sh clean for over 6 months. the worst part about that? my family’s reaction. no support, no love, just blaming and screaming. I’ve been through so much shit and my mom was always here, but I’ve never felt more alone than now. it’s like nobody really gets me. I’m trying so hard, and I didn’t cvt myself for 193 freaking days, and nobody gave a fvck, but now that I relapsed it’s suddenly all bad? what about the 193 good days? they only see the bad one? man, I don’t know, I’m tired


Hi lucy, welcome to Heart Support
Heart Support is an online forum (like wholesome reddit) for community members to help each other with mental health. You are welcome here no matter what.
You have been so strong for 6 months, that is no small matter. Your family is ignoring what you have already accomplished when they blame you instead of show the love you deserve. This can be hard but I encourage you to try being proud of yourself despite them.
Relapses happen, they are part of progress and healing. Recovery is having them less and less often and allowing your body to feel safe with you. This process is difficult and tiring, so give yourself breaks and take care of yourself on the way. I believe in you.

“The most important thing is an unbreakable heart” -DRX Deft

I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough time right now. Relapse can be a difficult experience, but it’s important to remember that it doesn’t erase the progress you’ve made in the past. 193 days is an incredible accomplishment, and you should be proud of yourself for reaching that milestone.

From x.Walker.x: We live in an Era of chronic anger and short sightedness. Even the ones who love us, often don’t understand how to support us. I’m proud of you for staying clean, and I’m proud of you for being open an honest and asking for guidance. Anger and guilt don’t do much good, especially guilt. So remind yourself of your accomplishments, remind yourself you can be a new person today, and that how other people act does not speak truth about your character, but rather theirs. Be well friend. :heart:

You sound like you could use some help from a different angle. Maybe an online therapist could do that? Try them, as I did once (took about 4 sessions, and they were effective in a way: https://p-s-y.online/

Good luck and best wishes.

Hi Lucy,

Welcome to Heart Support and thank you for being vulnerable. I think it’s awesome that you made it to 193 days! That’s really great and I’m proud of you. I’m sorry that the people in your life are not being supportive, that really sucks and it’s not fair at all that they don’t validate all the progress you’ve had.

You haven’t lost your progress, you’ve just had a bad day. You can continue this progress and keep going. Having good and bad days will happen and learning some coping skills to deal with those bad days is important. I learned something in therapy called Urge Surfing that I will share with you. I used it and it works for me, so I hope you can get something out of it too.

You matter!


Hi Lucy, Welcome to Heartsupport Friend.

I would like to start by saying congratulations for managing 193 days of not self harming, that is incredible.
Whenever we travel along the road of any form of self betterment or healing one thing that you can pretty much guarantee is that it is never going to be a nice straight flat road that you can wander along admiring the view. there are some dirty great pot holes and some mounds of dirt along the way that you will either trip over and fall into and you know thats ok! Everyone has the same roads, everyone has the same bumps and holes, the only thing that makes people different are the ones who get up and keep walking and the ones that give up.
You have done a fantastic job, get up, brush yourself off and keep walking, you have nothing to feel bad about. I look forward to hearing how you are getting on. Lisa x



Welcome to Heart Support my friend. I’m so glad you made it here. I hope you do find this a place where you can receive both support and kind words. First off - 193 days and how ever many days after the one day that doesn’t count - is a huge, huge win. One day of SH is not failure. It’s a bump in the road to your recovery. I don’t know what happened that had you hitting that bump, but it’s not a failure. And I love your attitude about your progress. You are absolutely right that the 193 days still count.

I’m sorry your family doesn’t understand this and are giving you grief. You don’t deserve to get grief for being in pain. I hope that they will come to understand how far you’ve come. Sometimes the people we want to be our biggest cheerleaders miss the big picture. Know that you are always welcome here to come and talk about what is happening and how you are feeling. Your journey matters, you matter and you have so much value. Welcome to the community. Please let us know how you are doing.