I relapsed last night on self-harm. I remembered why I was so addicted. I was about a month clean but I haven’t hurt myself a ton since last spring. I used to be so addicted. So insanely addicted. It’s weird, it’s not only the bad memories that are bothering me now. It’s the good ones too. The ones that I usually save for myself when I feel lost, hurt, or alone. But recently remembering them has been hurting because it just reminds me that I don’t have that anymore. I feel myself slipping back into old habits. And the scariest part is that I don’t seem to care that much.
Often we tend to underestimate how addicting self harm can be. You may have relapsed now but that doesn’t make you a failure. Relapses are not pleasant and may make it seem like your effort is all in vain, but are a reality for many people who struggle with addiction. Don’t give up on yourself because of a relapse. Remember why you wanted to break the habit in the first place.
If you feel like you have nothing, then keep in mind that you also have nothing to lose. That in itself can be empowering. You have the chance to redefine what you are striving for and who you want to be. There is something to be admired in the people who hit low points and decide to become better people because of it.
Also remember: you are not alone. Many others have struggled or continue to struggle with self harm. You aren’t the only one who feels apathetic, and there are many others who wish the best for you and support your recovery efforts. Take heart, every day is a new opportunity to live again.
@depressedllamacorn hey so sorry that you hurt yourself and you know it seemed all ways going good. Man you are loved and I hope that things do get better. Do not let this one failure be the breaking point of going back to old habits. It does not control you and remember just because you failed doesn’t me you cant get back up. You are not alone and we are here to help you.