Sophic! I’m proud of you for being honest about this. Relapse, sadly, is a part of recovery and it doesn’t mean we love you any less. When I started getting clean from pills, I relapsed after 35 days, just as my sponsor was about to start me on my step work… I had to go through 30 days of hell all over again… I was high for 3 days straight before I admitted that I had relapsed and took the steps to get clean again. 10 days after that, I relapsed again… This time I had learnt, and reached out straight away, as soon as I came down from the high… That was the last relapse I had, and I’m now 195 days completely clean… Just because you had a bump in the road doesn’t mean it’s the end all, I’m proof of this…
I’m in the midst of a self-harm relapse, for the last month I have self harmed pretty much every other day, and only now am I starting to see where I was going wrong… I can’t do it without the help of the community though. We’re here for you the same.
Talk to your s.o. couples fight, and that’s normal, it doesn’t mean you don’t love each other. Write down in a letter what you want to say, talk to him that way, or use it as a way to make sure you SAY what you need to say to him in a mature way, instead of letting your emotions take control and lash out. I know that you know about ReWrite and Dwarf Planet, but have you got your hands on Dwarf Planet to start it? I think it could help you.
We love you. Whatever you’re going through, we’re here for you and we will help you.