I Relapsed Years later

I relapsed…

I reached out…

that’s all the energy i have and care to give


You relapsed,
But you came here and posted.

You matter and you’re worthy. I see your pain, and want you to know we’re here for you, however we can support you.

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I’m proud of you for reaching out. How can we support you?

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Tell me I’m a failure.

Tell me I’m a letdown.

Tell me you saw it coming.

Tell me I’ll never recover.

Tell me the world is better off without me.

Tell me the truth.

You’re a success, of surviving the things in your head and in your heart that are so heavy.

You are an inspiration, for hurting, and being here and giving us the opportunity to support and love you.

“never” is a time frame no human should ever use. Things change in a moment, in a minute, in a day, in a month. We can’t predict the future.

I remember your name, it made me giggle because it was cute! That one laugh that you alone gave to me, and I thank you for that, friend.

The truth is that you’re brave. It’s brave to say “I’m hurting”, it’s brave to make a post here, it’s sooo brave to let others know.
And you are loved, simply by existing. You don’t have to earn it or work for it.

You matter. To all of us. I’m glad you’re here with us, thank you for that.

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Tell me the truth.

There is true validation to find in the way you feel and I’m so sorry that you’ve been in so much pain and distress lately. However, truth can’t be found in the way you feel. There are objective facts right here and right now that we can observe and embrace as it reveals how brave and strong you are. You are trying, you are reaching out, you’re breaking down the walls of isolation during a time when it’s certainly very tempting to stay alone. This is the manifestation of how brave you are, and at the complete opposite of being a failure.

This world is better with you in it. You have so much to bring into this world because you are you, because you have a unique story to tell, because you have unique qualities and outlooks to share. Now isn’t the right time for you to feel see it as pain tend to blind us from our own worth and beauty. But I can tell - we can all tell here - how valuable and worthy you are for being here, for being you. Your presence makes a difference. We see it. We see YOU.

If you would like to share what’s going on in your life that is bringing all of these painful thoughts, please consider sharing it with us here. You know you are in a safe space and will only be met with love. You are cared of, no matter what are the obstacles in front of you right now. There is hope in holding each other’s hands and making sure that you don’t have to walk alone. We’re in this with you.

Hey i remember you from a few years ago whwn we were regular viewers of the twitch streams. I thought it was you and I had to check your profile to make sure.

I’m sorry you’re going through it right now. I wish i could find something profound and deep to say. I can say this though. Addiction is a really tough thing and it’s something i struggle with too. But I don’t think any less of you for relapsing. You say “oh i’m a failure, i’m a letdown, i’ll never recover” well those are things that the mean part of your brain is trying to trick you into believing. Take it one day at a time. Yeah you made a mistake today. But what about tomorrow? You’re probably not gonna make the same choices tomorrow. That’s what I’d tell myself and my loved ones if I relapsed.

“It’s ok to not be ok. It’s ok to feel this way.” - Keep Me In My Body, The Color Morale

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The world will always be a better place with in it “fact”
whatever shape or form you come in you have a place in this world and you are loved and wanted.
Thank you for being here and thank you for taking that energy and time to reach out. :green_heart:

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Isolation is key.

Being alone.


Closed off.

I can’t hurt other people that way.

And I can hurt myself in peace.

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The voice that calls for self-isolation can be very strong when we are in pain. It makes sense to feel like staying on your own would be the right thing to do. That without this connection with others, you would suppress a huge amount of stress, fears and negative thoughts. It would be also a good way to validate all these false beliefs that you have about yourself right now – if there’s no one around, you are only left with your perceptions, your hurt and there’s no one to provide you a different outlook.

But you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve to stay on your own and let all these lies about yourself become stronger. You are right for being here, for reaching out, for sharing what’s on your heart. You are right for seeking help even if it makes you feel conflicted. It is especially because we are not experiencing the same pain that we can see you truly, and you are worthy of all the love and care that you need.

Isolation would only lead you to places you don’t belong in. Where you belong, is with your loved ones, with us here as well – all the places where you can be nurtured with the love and support that you need right now. You are not a burden. You are not a failure. A relapse is a very difficult transition to go through, but you don’t have to deal with it on your own.

I’m thinking of you today. You’re loved. :hrtlegolove:

dear monkey. I feel very close to the words you have shared and to the feeling that nobody is truely being honest about their feelings. I know what it’s like to went to beg someone to tell you the “truth” that you already know in your own head. The words that you’re not enough and that nobody could care.
Those words that echo so loudly and repeat over and over.

There is hope though. Somebody else’s truth about us doesn’t always match up to the truth we see in ourselves, but it doesn’t make them wrong.
You are valued and loved
You are worthy
You don’t deserve hurt

You don’t deserve to torture yourself over things you feel are a failure or hurt others. I’ve found what truely ends up hurting others is pushing them away and not letting them understand what you’re feeling. Just yesterday I had a moment where I got in my head and was mean to people I love. I came back and explained what’s going on and apologised, and they embraced me and reassured me that they love me.
Let us embrace you and reassure you that you’re loved.

Hello Monkey,

One of the things that are important to remember in these kinds of moments is that we are our own worst critics. As many have said before me, you came here & reached out for support. That is huge, even if you don’t feel that way or see it.

You have not failed. You had a realization & acknowledged it. Give yourself some grace for that. Take it one day at a time. You can do it. I believe that 10000%. You are enough. You are important. You matter.

-StarFox :yellow_heart:

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