I see no reason to keep living

Title says it all really. I just don’t see the point. I’m stupid, I’m ugly, I’m not good at anything, I don’t have any passions. I’m just this useless, unlovable waste of a person with no future. I have no friends. The only person that talks to me only does so because I pay them and I pretty sure I just lost them today to. And Despite knowing that my stupid self got attached to them anyway. I can’t do anything right. I hate myself so much and I don’t understand why I should keep living this life.

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Hey there,
Thank you so much for reaching out. It sounds like you’re really hurting and are feeling very lost right now. I want you to know that none of those things you listed about yourself are true… You are not stupid or ugly. You may not know what your passions are right now, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good at anything. You are most definitely not unlovable either nor are you stupid for getting attached to someone. Depression tells us so many lies and after hearing them day in and day out from that internal voice that says we aren’t good enough, no one loves us, no one could ever love us, we are worthless and everything is pointless, we start to believe those lies. So because of that, it makes it so very hard to envision a future or even see a point in all of this. I want to tell you though, that you are so much more than that sadness and darkness you are experiencing right now. You have an entire community here that cares for you and wants to be here for you. Know that you have value. Just by purely existing you have value and worth. Know that we are here for you and hope to support you as best we can.

Hold Fast,
Hannah Rhodes

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It sounds like you’re going through a super challenging time. I’m sorry to hear you don’t see a reason to live. I’m sorry you feel like you’re stupid, ugly, and not good at anything. I myself am struggling with seeing a reason to live; it doesn’t seem that straightforward. But I find it much more likely that you have competence, beauty, skills, and passions to discover. Friends can be so hard to make. The people you are surrounded by are at fault and not just you.

It sounds like a lot of things might be going “wrong” and feeling really bad. Life’s not easy. The mental health journey is never straight. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so much hatred for yourself.

It sounds like right now you might need little wins and whatever form self-care that works for you, be it watching a show you like, exercising, or eating a comforting food.

How can HeartSupport best support you?

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Hey @bls,

Thank you so much for being here and sharing your heart. It sounds that you’re going through a really rough time lately and I’m so sorry you’re feeling like there’s no reason to keep living. You are not a waste and you are not useless though. When we’re going through a rough time, it’s hard really hard to be gentle with ourselves and see things with the same clarity as if we’d feel okay. How you feel is valid, and right now certainly very intense, but those thoughts are lies you don’t deserve to believe or base your life on. There is no amount of relationship that will ever define your worth.

The only person that talks to me only does so because I pay them and I pretty sure I just lost them today to.

Would you like to talk about that person and what makes you believe that you just lost them? It sounds that something happened today and triggered those thoughts you’ve been having about yourself. Sounds to be a very a distressing time for you and I’d love to understand a little more what’s going on, if you’re willing to share.

You are not alone right now. It might feel less real as we’re all connected through written words here, but we genuinely care about you in this community. We want the best for you and to support you through this difficult time. Hold fast friend. You matter. :hrtlegolove:

Well I don’t pay the person just to talk. She’s a professional cuddler that I’ve been seeing weekly for a couple months now. She’s been very helpful and supportive, even talking to me outside of our sessions and I thought were becoming pretty good friends. But lately she’s been distant, unresponsive and putting off booking our next session and I have no idea why. I don’t know what I did wrong. She’s my only form of in person support and someone I really care about as a friend and it hurts that I’m losing her.

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