I should be happy

Some of you may remember how a year ago this time I was either waitlisted or rejected from schools. This year I can say I got into my top choice school and once I graduate from said school I will be able to work straight away in my choice of medicine. I was so overwhelmed when I received my acceptance letter I actually cried. I should be happy yet I’m not, or rather the excitement of it didn’t last long. When I went to tell my family I was reminded how I still have to deal with my brother who has BP2 (Who was having a manic episode at the time) and my mom who was having a panic attack as a result. As always I had to intervene. Not only that but when I tried to tell other people whether it was friends or family members I was told numerous things such as, “You’re going to flunk out, You’re still doing health care despite a pandemic, what makes you think you’re good enough, and my personal favorite, You’re not gonna make it so just give up now.” I am used to people not caring or believing in me but FFS I just did something that is no easy task you would think I would at least get a congratulations. I know my mom is proud and happy but I think also concerned because now the burden of my brother is going to be on her. I know it shouldn’t bother me what people think about what I’m doing because it’s my life not theirs and I get to say I get to make a difference in people’s lives. Maybe part of me is scared that they are right maybe I will fail but I worked hard to get accepted and if I wanted to quit I would have done so already. Overall I am stoked I got in and that it was my top choice school, but also scared because I don’t want to mess this up and I don’t want my family’s concerns to hold me back. Ironically I have this A Day To Remember lyric stuck in my head, “I’m holding on to a fairy tale, we’re moving forward but we’re not there yet, we’re moving forward, we’re moving forward.”

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Hey, it is REALLY amazing getting into your top school! Awesome job on that. I think its normal sometimes to not be happy with what we thought we wanted. There can be so much anticipating and dreaming that goes into the desires of our hearts then when we receive what we thought we wanted so bad its like you are excited for a bit then are like “okay. whatever.” (hope that makes sense) In regards to your family not being supportive or excited for you, I am very sorry about that:( I am sure you will do great. Obviously you were excepted for a reason ! They may just be fearing for you and are overly anxious about your life if you are close with them ( still they should not put you down) Talking about college with my mom, she shoots me down frequently out of fear of me leaving so I say what I say out of experience. Hold fast friend! Take care of yourself. I am sure you will feel much better once you actually physically get into college. Hang in there :slight_smile:

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From: sheetmetalhead

I understand the anxiety that comes with major life changes, good or bad, and how it upsets the delicate balance of your current life. I understand feeling bad that you’re leaving behind a burden for others. Trust that they will find a way to rise to the occasion. Trust that you will settle into your school soon, and it will become the new normal. And don’t focus on the naysayers, focus on yourself! You got in, so you deserve to be there. Go get it!

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Hey there @mufcninja, I’m sorry that your family wasn’t really able to be supportive when you found out you were accepted. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you for getting to this point, this an incredible thing to achieve and I wish you the absolute best of luck in everything you do. I know that it’s going to be hard to kind of leave your mom with your brother but make sure that you remember that sometimes you have to think of yourself and that can be really hard but it’s important. You can still worry about them and be there for them but you also have to be there for yourself too and understand what you need to do. Again I’m so happy for you and I know that you’re going to do great things my friend. :hrtlegolove:

Also, I love that ADTR song!

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Hey @mufcninja , @taylorpalmby dedicated a song to you on stream! Here’s the live video

Hold Fast

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I want to thank you all for replying and thank you @taylorpalmby for the song dedication I greatly appreciate it, it’s actually one of my favorite Beatles songs.

@cs15 Thanks I appreciate it. My Mom is truly happy for me I think we’re both just concern about my brother going forward. It sucks that others may be negative but at least I can say I am doing something with my life. I wish you the best of luck with looking at schools and trying to talk to your mom about it. I know it’s not easy but if college is what you are aiming for you’ll make it happen. Keeping hanging in there.

@ofmiceandben Thank you, I’m worried about leaving them but I know I have to do this so I can better myself. Also Homesick is one of my favorite songs and it is awesome when performed live.

Thanks again everyone.

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