Hey you can call me Annie
I’ve struggled with my eating disorder since I was 17. And now I’ve got to a point where I think it’ll never get better, the thoughts will never go away. I am afraid of normal weight and I do not feel seriously taken by doctors because I am not critically underweight. That is so bad that I try to lose more weight despite my underweight because I still perceive myself as too fat. I’m scared of eating my food because I can’t stand my stomach being full. It’s a terrible feeling. I don’t know how to ever live normally again? i think i really need help?! And sry for my really bad english i´m not a native english speaker
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Hi Annie,
I commend your courage for posting this here. It can be hard to admit when you have a health problem and that you are dissatisfied with your body.
I think it’s important to first say that it’s good that you realize the extent of your eating disorder and that you need help. This is a critical first step to getting that help. I understand you have spoken to doctors. Have you spoken to a psychiatrist? Many of the things you mention are textbook signs of Anorexia and I feel like you would have more success finding help by way of psychiatry rather than with a physician. I would make sure they know that this eating disorder causes you distress and that you’re own perception of your body is wrong because you still perceive yourself as fat despite being underweight. At least having said all this, it should be clear that you want help and this is not something you feel you can handle on your own.
I honestly can’t offer much help other than that - when I was younger I started showing signs of Anorexia (I would eat only when people were around so it appeared that I was eating when I really wasn’t so much, I would obsessively exercise, and even when I was 105 lbs I thought I was fat.), and it was basically a struggle in my head to convince myself that even if I hated the thought of eating, if I let myself continue to think that way I would be in trouble. I just forced myself to eat basically. But I also know it’s not that easy, especially with a persistent disorder. And so, I would say, please continue to reach out for help because sooner or later the right person will come along and listen. You just need to stay strong until then. And definitely be persistent. If the next doctor says no, try another one. And another one. Because you want help, you deserve to be helped. You can do this. We’ve got your back.
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@Sapphire Thx for your answer
It’s really difficult to find a psychologist in Germany. There are many
Clinics but the clinics have only intrested to help When you are feeling very bad physically. Thats what i hate is it not enogh that i´m struggeling a lot with my weight . I think about to try to make a list with things that make my feeling better and i will go to a clinic with waiting time. And now i need to go to bed 
its very late here in germany and my english is getting worse :S I will type a complete answer tomorow
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