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I suffered a concussion a while back and it makes me feel like my brain is turned off… Like I’m a living zombie. Im getting a neuro logical examination in October. Im a dead man.
Head trauma can be so scary and so unnerving, I’m so sorry that you’re having to process and figure out this new situation. Medical anxiety is such a real fear since we only have one body, and everything about our biology is so complex and confusing. I’ve dealt with overwhelming waves of depression that have taken my mind so captive it feels like I’m merely a shell of a person. I’ve felt like I’m nothing more than a walking corpse. It is such a frightening thought to try and comprehend that your mental functions aren’t quite kicking in, or that the part of your body that regulates and controls everything forgot to turn on one day. It must also be anxiety-inducing that you have to wait for so long before you can find some clarity and get a medical opinion.
Just because the head trauma is making you feel numb does not mean that you aren’t still in control of thoughts or unable to feel emotions. The feeling of being a zombie and feeling like you’re watching your life play out in front of you is so frighting, but you are not unable to reclaim your autonomy and still feel like a complete person. You still are a complete person, and no amount of head trauma is able to change that.
One thing that you can cling to is that we are living at the best time that the world has ever been in for medical knowledge, and you are not the first person to ever experience a sever concussion. Head numbness and lack of sensations is something that has been documented before and is very curable. Even if everything feels hopeless, know that I am holding out hope for you and sending you all my compassion. I wouldn’t be writing to you that things will get better if I didn’t know that your condition and your anxieties will be resolved. Keep holding on my friend, you are not going through this alone and you will feel like yourself again <3
Waiting in the midst of medical unknowns is so scary. It feels so powerless and isolating, because we’re the only ones who know exactly how we’re feeling and we’re left at the whims of a doctor’s diagnosis. It must be terrifying to feel like your brain just isn’t working, like your mind just can’t do the normal processes we usually take for granted.
Life has thrown a lot at you with this head injury, and I’m sure it feels overwhelming. But I hope to encourage you that you are still the same valuable person you always have been, no matter how dead your mind might feel. Those thoughts telling you that you are now worthless because of this injury are false and are nothing but lies to distract you from the purpose your life still holds. You are still here, and you are here for a reason. Your existence despite all that you’ve gone through proves that you are meant to be here, that there is so much more in store for you than you could even imagine right now.
So in this season of unknowns, where everything feels balanced between hopelessness and complete deadness, I want you to know that I am so glad you are here and you are loved more than you could ever imagine. I know that you were made for a purpose, and even if it seems far away right now, that purpose is real and present in the midst of this darkness. The light is still there; no injury or diagnosis could ever take that away from you. You are loved in this moment my friend, and I am so proud of you for fighting.
@@HeartSupport ty so much for saying what you said… I have been trying to figure out how to respond for some time, but I think everything I could say has already been covered by you… I’ll always keep hanging in there… The day before you said what you said. A friend of mine said to me “no more dead mode” and “times up for being a zombie.” Along with him just saying “WAKE UP!” These were phrases I absolutely NEEDED to hear and it helped tremendously. Sometimes, I just need to snap out of it. Along with what you said… It really means a lot… Thank you for putting your heart into that reply, it truly means alot