(Quick TW for suicide, depression, and possible other disturbing content)
Hey heartsupport! It’s been a while.
Not sure if my old posts can be checked, but my last one was about how my boyfriend broke up with me. Just a little update here, we decided to stay friends and I recently found the guy of my dreams who makes me really happy. Said ex, let’s call him Aiden (not even close to his real name btw, just asked a friend for a random name) was taking my relationship with this new guy, “J”, really hard. He sent me multiple paragraphs on how much he loved me and missed me, but he had mistreated me so much in the past that I really just couldn’t take it.
His mental health got gradually worse, and he began to send me disturbing texts and calls every night about how he’s going to kill himself because of this, to which i’d always have to talk him out of it.
After a while i realized that being in this kind of dynamic with him wasn’t healthy for me, and causing me immense amounts of stress, but I didn’t want him to hurt himself because of me, so I stayed.
I threatened to call the cops or his parents and he often backed down when I did that.
In order to cope with this stress, I had started talking to “J” more, since he really calms me down and helps me feel happy. He knew vague details of the situation, but not everything. This made “Aiden” even more upset, and he would randomly spam call me in the middle of the night or while I was hanging out with “J” to get my attention and have me talk him out of suicide once again. After a while I got sick of this behavior, him constantly needing to talk to me every second of the day in order to stay alive. I started to get kind of snappy and irritated with him, since it was getting to the point to where I couldn’t even go out for a few hours with friends or my own father.
Earlier this night, he did it again, told me how he was gonna kill himself, said his goodbyes, all that.
With all the added on stress, I freaked the hell out. I basically had a huge panic attack at the thought of being behind his death and he attempted to shift to comforting me. He asked if there was anything he could do to help my situation and I told him to “just be gentle with me, I’m really unstable right now”. And I assumed that would take care of things.
Boy was I wrong.
Later, “Aiden” sent me a text saying that he posted something on social media for me but deleted it because he didn’t want it to get taken down. Oblivious to the severity of the situation, assuming he was maybe just shirtless or said a few too many swear words or something, I asked to see it.
He then sent me a video of him writing in his own blood, with handprints and a final heart for me.
I flipped out on him, telling him how I had one boundary and he couldn’t even follow that, etc etc.
I ended up blocking him, then told a few close friends about the situation and we agreed that it would probably be best to contact his parents about this. I sent his dad a message involving all of the threats of suicide and self harm that he’s sent me, as well as the video attached.
I feel awful, knowing that he’ll probably be furious if he finds out I did this. He always freaked out when I mentioned contacting his parents, because he’s really big on their approval, but I just couldn’t watch him suffer anymore. I feel awful. Did I do the right thing?