I live my live based on others peoples opinions. I worry about what people think about me. My thoughts of people thinking negative of me is 99 percent of the time I’m awake. I am depressed everyday. I can’t live a normal life because I’m constantly Wondering and thinking people are talking bad about me. I’m just a normal guy who tries to be nice to people. I have kids and a wife. This is affecting my life. These thoughts are usually about people at work since I’m there half of my life. Any tips or advice?
Hey @Mooseman! Thank for sharing this. 
It resonates with me very much, I think I feel something similar to how you’re feeling.
These thoughts and feelings can be unrelenting and very painful. Feeling like you have to put on a front whenever you’re around another person is so terribly exhausting. I’m really sorry you feel this way, and, if it helps, I know that things don’t have to stay this way. We can work on making this easier for you. This isn’t the end of your story.
The key thing, I think, is recognising that these thoughts aren’t coming to you out of nowhere. They’re deep-seated, often these things reach way back into our early life. That may or may not be the case for you, but either way, treatment can come in the form of exploration and deeper understanding of who you are and why you feel how you feel. If it’s something you feel up to, that’s exactly what a professional can help you with. If not, I’ve found writing to myself to be very, very helpful. Just getting the thoughts out in any form helps to give you some perspective.
I’ve come across a few techniques which might help you too. Responding internally to those voices with gentle but firm dissent is the most effective for me. I just remind myself that these thoughts aren’t as objective as I think they are at the time - they’re based on my own social compass, which has just become a bit miscalibrated, and that’s not necessarily my fault. When it gets really bad, I’ll excuse myself for a moment, maybe go to the bathroom, and re-ground myself by focusing on the sensations in my body - specifically my breathing. It’s hard at first, but it gets easier and really helps me to come back to Earth. I hope these things help you too. 
Finally, there’s this one thing I’ve been telling myself lately: I’d rather be my honest self and be disliked, than be loved for pretending to be someone I’m not. And the truth is, your honest self probably wouldn’t be disliked anyway. You’re just some nice guy with a wife and kids, trying his best just like everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with who you are and what you’re doing. You’re already valuable.
Stay strong Again, thank you for sharing! Feel free to post more here or message me if you want to talk more.
1 Like