From lpd.: For several years now, I had a friend who struggled with a harsh domestic life and had no self control when something made them agitated. We tried to get them professional help, but it wasn’t plausible, given that both treatment was too expensive and the people around them are quite judgemental and might’ve mocked them for it. So, in the absence of professional, irl help. I tried to show them servers that claimed to be spaces of support and company, eventually leading to this server. Here, they found a friend who later invited them to a friend server, and it all seemed more than fine initially. However, my friend’s lack of self control would eventually lead to internal issues in the server, and they would not feel remorse for their actions against the people they didn’t personally like, regardless of if they’d actually done any wrong. I’m not a very emotional person, and I have barely any tact when presenting my thoughts, so I didn’t give them unconditional support, and would be harsh on them if they were to deflect blame or refuse to acknowledge their fault. Eventually, the person that invited my friend to the private server became closer to them, getting overtly defensive and hostile towards any criticism pointed at my friend. My friend values company and loyalty more than anything, so they saw this person’s tendency towards attacking any detractors (or even those who merely fought back against my friend’s general passive aggressive troublemaking) as them being a good friend who’d always be there. This got to the point I had to spend over half an hour trying to get their buddy off my back for criticizing my friend about issues they’d start out of nowhere. At one point, I just became terminally exhausted and cut all communication with them, and it’s been peaceful. But I feel I left them in a horrible situation, with someone who won’t let any thought of necessary change get through. I don’t know what to conclude, I just miss when I thought things could improve.
This isn’t all, though. I didn’t have the space for it in the first message, but I also want to make clear I’m not a saint nor pure good. When I say I’m not emotional, I mean I’ve put what I believe over my affection towards my friend. In moments where they were down in the dumps over things they brought upon themselves, or they overreacted to someone who did something to annoy or insult them, I would try to propose a path through which the issue could be at least partially resolved and they could learn from it, but not before chewing them out and disregarding their personal issues whenever they tried to use them to justify their actions. I think maybe if I had been slightly more lenient with them, they’d have listened better, but I cannot be sure. They always side with whoever talks more sweetly to them, so I feel that, in trying to get them to listen to me, I might’ve had to excuse their behavior or act in a way I don’t find correct so they’d see me in good light. I don’t believe I did a moral wrong, but I do believe I was stupid in thinking I could teach a child the same way I was taught and have it just work the same.
Live goes on, and so will I eventually, but it’s just kinda shite to know my first friend in this place only remembers me as a nagging, emotionless stone while they idolize someone so hostile against anyone who wants him to change.