I don’t know what else to say. I don’t like my body. Others don’t like my body. I have seen people online that are so pretty and amazing but I can’t. I don’t want to eat. It feels like the best of both worlds honestly, either I starve myself and get skinny or I die trying. I don’t know what to do right now. I just feel like being skinny would help me find friends and help me find people who are willing to date me. I’m tired of being lonely because I’m fat.
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Dear gigchocolates
Hey I know that feelings of not being happy, of one self image. We getting this image of perfection rub in our faces and we never feel satisfaction. It hard we look on social media with perfect people and perfect lives. However, there no such thing as perfect body and their people have everything and still feel like shit.
A lot people struggle with images and finding friends.
I feel that I can relate to you issue, I myself feel lonely and I’m not too happy with my body.
In addition, I believe we should not try have the perfect body. It more like having a healthy body. Not stressing about what other think. Cause in reality, their made rule set by society and it cause damage to our self. I feel we should be able happy with ourself regardless and be free from judge.
I know it easy said and done, overall please try find some type of hope. You are not alone, you have friends here.
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Hello, I have been in Anorexia recovery for about a year and a half now. I got into it not about weight but rather control and coping and I battled for four years and God set me free after I got so sick that it effected my hemoglobin and the proteins in my blood. And it got to a point I was only eating two days out of the week and my stomach was literately surviving of the acids in my stomach and was having major stomach pain that took me the floor. It’s an ugly slope and when you get on it it’s hard to get off… all I can say is it’s a slow painful secret pit and you will suffer and things you never thought you would to hide your secret I know that I did…
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Hey @gigichocolates,
Thank you for being here. 
I’ve been struggling with eating disorders for more than a decade, currently on recovery/in a better place now, and I can assure you that there’s absolutely no benefit with those. I faced anorexia, bulimia and binge eating. It’s still something fragile, maybe a vulnerability I’ll have for my entire life. And there’s no other words to describe it but as being a living nightmare. When someone struggle with this, they are not in control. They are controlled by those disorders. And this affects your health in many dangerous ways.
But you know that already. You know that even if it can be tempting to think that it’s easier that way, it’s not. It’s only an illusion of solution. And when you remove the dreams, illusions, promises it’s telling you, you start to face the reality of it. The less glamourous parts, the ones that drowns you in a spiral of shame, even more than before. That is not something you want. Not something we want for you either. And not something you deserve to experience.
But I hear you. I hear the pain you’re expressing. I hear and understand how tempting it is to think that if you’d have a different body then everything would be different in your life. I understand how tempting it is to find a “quick fix”. But the truth is: it’s not. Of course, being healthy and feeling okay with your body is important. It helps to build your self-confidence, but also not to feel limited by your body, to do the things you want to do. There are healthy ways to achieve that goal. By being helped by a nutritionist, a doctor, and even a counselor to receive some psychological support when it’s needed.
The solution is not in your eating habits, just like the problem is not about your weight. Happiness, being involved in a relationship, life itself are not conditioned by your body weight or shape. It’s something we’re used to believe. It’s a message we see everywhere: empower yourself! be fit, healthy, active, in control, and you’ll be happy! - That’s a lie. Especially since our body has its own pace and can’t be pushed off limits without any consequence.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling like this, friend. I had a hate relationship with mine for so long. I’m still unable to look at myself in a mirror without crying. I see all the flaws, I feel disgusting. But I also try to remind myself that how I feel in my life is not conditioned by how my body looks like. It’s so much more complex.
You are not unlovable. You don’t need to respond to X and Y criteria to be worthy of love. I know this can sound very cheesy and unhelpful, as it doesn’t change how you feel about yourself. But this actually requires a different kind of work, and a different kind of pace. And you don’t have to do that alone. You have the right to be helped by a professional who’ll give you a safe space where you can work on these thoughts that you have.
You have worth already, just by being you, just by being. This is a truth you can hold on to. It’s a truth you can use as a pillar to take healthy steps for yourself. If you want to lose weight, to be healthier, that’s great! But I want to encourage you to ask yourself why you want to do it, what are the goals you aim for. And I want to encourage you not to associate unrealistic goals with weight loss, such as thinking that your worth would be defined by it.
How you feel, the pain in your heart, can’t be solved with a diet or a focus on your body. It needs a different kind of response, support and help. It needs love and compassion. You are not less than anyone in this world because of your body. I believe in you to make the right decisions and take healthy steps, the steps you deserve, to overcome these obstacles in your life. We’re here to support you as welll.
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I can speak from experience that with and eating disorder it’s never enough. It controls you in a pit of shame and self abuse that never truly takes away pain!!!
I just don’t want to feel alone anymore. I don’t know what else to do. No one wants overweight ugly me. So maybe if I just stopped eating, then people would want to date me and be my friend.
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If you have to change you to that extent you don’t really have the person. You would be surrendering to a stronghold and that would be what you are giving your heart to. Also a person that loves you would not want you to be putting your body and health through that. They wouldn’t want you to feel the physical pain and speaking from experience you will have physical pain your head will heart your stomach will hurt and will try to survive of of your stomach acids and creat such stomach pain you will not even be able to stand. No person that loves you would want that and I nor God wants that for you… God didn’t want it for me God begged me for years to please stop what I was doing he was in great pain watching what I was doing to my self and I know he would feel the same way for you. I hat has helped me in my eating disorder recovery and something that I have learned in therapy is journaling letting out your emotions and allow yourself to feel is very important and meditation and exercise. I also do creative arts therapy.