I think im going to cut again

so to start off , some days i get this weird “bummed” feeling where like i feel down and kinda feel like im about to cry and stuff and somethimes thoughts about cutting come in but they arent very compelling and i can usually resist pretty easily. well today i felt this feeling and thought that it sucked but i was going to be okay because its never gotten too bad before. i started crying today and the thoughts of cutting are more compelling then before. i get scared for venting because i feel like if i just keep venting too much people will call me an attention seeker. i didnt post here right away because i thought that it was going to be ok and that everything would go away soon. i was wrong and now im scared that if i leave my room, ill be so compelled to cut that i wont be able to resist. idk what to do anymore and im scared.

Update: the thoughts have been getting worse and i have started actively searching a little for something to use… im so upset now because a couple of people have put coping mechenisms in their replys and i dont think they are going to work and im thinking that if its not going to work, whats the point of even trying, but at the same time i feel pressured to at least try because if i dont then i think everyone will think that im like forcing this apon myself and that i deserve it and that id be a fucking attention seeker because of it. but ill try something and hope it works even though i really doubt its gonna.

We’re glad you shared this. I don’t know if this would work but I put something cold on the base of the back of my neck when I’m in rough shape and it takes the edge of. I think it can also be helpful to remember how strong you’ve been in the past and know that person is still you.

Hi Miststar,

First of all, thank you for sharing. You are always welcome to share on here, no one is ever going to be upset at you for sharing your thoughts, fears, feelings, or emotions. So never ever be afraid of posting here. We are here to help and to provide as much support as we possibly can.

I know how those feelings and thoughts can creep up on you. I know that the thought of relapse can be really scary, it’s scary for me as well. When i feel down or get depressed those thoughts creep up on me as well, and I know it can be hard to fight them off. Here is a really good list of distractions or things that you can do to help make it easier not to cut.

  • Draw flowers, butterflies, lines, etc on the place you want to cut.
  • listen to or make a new playlist.
  • wash the dishes, clean your room, organize your desk, etc.
  • write what you are feeling or journal.
  • hold/squeeze something. For example a pillow, a stress ball, etc.
  • take a walk, do push ups, go on a run, etc.
  • cuddle or pet your dog, cat, or pet if you have one.
  • scream or yell.
  • rip or scribble on pieces of paper.
  • watch a tv show or youtube video that makes you happy or makes you laugh.
  • paint your nails.
  • bake cookies or make something to eat.
  • sing or play an instrument.
  • post here on the community wall.
  • put a band-aid over where you want to cut.
  • alphabetize your movies or books
  • read.
  • try to sleep.
  • re-arrange furniture.
  • buy or pick flowers to keep in your room.
  • plant something/garden.
  • look at pinterest, tumblr, or stumble upon.
  • give yourself a henna tattoo.
  • paint or draw something.
  • pop bubble wrap.
  • dance.
  • build a pillow fort and hide away in it for a while.
  • hang out with a friend or family.
  • make some tea or coffee.
  • fold origami/ learn origami.
  • learn words in a different language.
  • take a hot bath or cold shower.
  • wash your hands with really cold or really hot water.
  • rub ice on the place you want to cut.
  • try out a breathing exercise.

There are more things that you could do i am sure, but heres a short list. Also, I know it is really hard, but just remember that sometimes relapse is a part of the recovery process and that no one is going to be mad at you, we want to help you in any way that we can.

Much love, friend,

@Hannah_Presley @Efa117 thanks for encuraging the use of coping stratagies. it helped a bit with the cutting thoughts. its just that now im upset that i didnt cut and i feel like no matter what i do ill always end up in a situation where i get upset… im just confused and sad and i hate this.

That makes since and is totally ok to still feel upset. I think emotions are like energy, we can’t just make them disappear when we want and they often change into something different (if that makes sense). I definitely don’t think your an attention seeker. We’re all a community that has different hurts and needs. We’re all here to be here for each other because we care about the community. Some days we can be there for others because other days they’ll be there for us.

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