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I think my friend killed herself please I need advice, what can I do


#1

I hope this gets a reply soon because I’m freaking out right now. So yesterday, my best and only friend was at work, seemed like a normal day, she then never replys to my messages, because she has time for reading them, but no time for replying. But then, around 00:30, when I knew she should be home by now (she usually leaves at work sometime between 21:00 and midnight), and she still didn’t reply to my messages, I started getting worried.
I wrote her a couple more messages and then went to sleep, assuming she just didn’t wanna talk. But when I woke up tomorrow (it’s 10am for me right now), still no reply from her. I called her, sent her messages on every platform/app I could think of - still nothing.

We live about 500km apart so just heading over and checking if she’s fine on myself is not that easy, though I will be doing that if she still hasn’t replied anywhere by tomorrow morning, because we planned to meet tomorrow and she should arrive at the train station nearby at around 10:30am, I will be there to see if she is and if not, I’ll instantly buy a ticket and get on the train.

Her twitter account has been deactivated, her WhatsApp as well, she apparently turned her phone off, because when calling, it’s not even calling, it instantly tells me she’s not available.

It might be that out of nowhere, she started hating me and decided to cut me off, without saying anything, but that is way more that unlikely than that she killed herself. I am so worried and I don’t know what to do. I can’t think of any other reason for her disabling all her social media.

She’s all I have… maybe all I had. She’s means everything to me and if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t be alive right now, and I won’t if I don’t know whats happening by tomorrow evening.
If I don’t hear from her today, which would definitely make it the worst day of my life so far, and she does not arrive on the train station in my city tomorrow morning, I will go to her place, even if it costs me probably around 100€, because buying a train ticket for the same day in germany is ridiculously expensive and see if she’s there or I can find out what happened. If, be it because she hates me now for whatever reason or be it because she killed herself, we’re not friends anymore tomorrow evening/noon, I will kill myself.
I hope I’m wrong and there’s a good reason for all of this.

Edit: I know she’s not asleep, because

  1. she should be at work already
  2. my calls usually wake her up
  3. she’d be asleep for 10 hours now and she usually sleeps for just 5-7 hours

2nd edit: Im awake for 2 hours now and I cant handle it anymore already, i keep calling and sending her messages and I’m crying all the time what can I do


#2

You need to calm down. Breath in 1234 and breath out.


#3

What makes you think that’s she’s killed herself


#4

well I know that she’s been suicidal for quite some time and she just disappeared without saying anything, I can’t think of another reason for that.

I told her that it’s fine if she wants to be alone for a bit, but I begged her to send me anything, just so I know she’s alive and she didn’t.


#5

Does she have anyone close to you can call


#6

i don’t have phone numbers or social media accounts of any family members nor friends, at least not of those who live near/with and could check on her


#7

Perhaps it’s best to call the police in her area so they can check up on her as this is an emergency.


#8

If you think she is in real harm she could be in trouble


#9

is that a reason to call the police, are you sure?


#10

YESS, you report them missing and the police will check. My mom has call plenty of time to find me,


#11

But if she’s just at work as usual and just chose to not reply to any of my messages, for whatever reason, do I get in trouble?


#12

No I’m not to sure but it’s faster then going to find out yourself


#13

Most police departments will do a welfare check if you have reason to believe someone is hurt. From what you described you have more than enough cause for worry.


#14

I hope everything is fine.