I’m tired of the disrespect and invalidation. Things have gotten more rough. He called me the n word because of my race. And when I flipped the script and went offline because I was upset, he told me I’m shutting him down and listening to him which was exactly my problem when he upped a left me on read time and time again without communicating because I said something that he took the wrong way. Always says I’m assuming shit when he always assumes that I’m being passive aggressive in texts when i’m not. Tone isn’t always clear online. He needs to look in the mirror because he’s criticizing me for the same shit that he does. I’m always calm when I talk because if I blow up, all of a sudden I"m the bad guy and he’s the one trying to reason with me.
Is being disrespectful and calling someone names “trying to reason”?
Oh fuck off. I’m mad and extremely disappointed by his anger and hypocrisy. I am really thinking about moving away from this friendship considering I can’t really sit down a talk with this guy. Right now he’s just sending me angry paragraphs and I refuse to engage with him until calms down.
Says he’s not perfect and he’s trying his best but then insults me when I make a mistake. I don’t hate him, I’m just not happy with his behavior at all.
Is being disrespectful and calling someone names “trying to reason”?
No, it is not. Based on what you described, your friend is lashing out at you, and that is certainly not a way to solve a disagreement of any kind. On a personal note, calling you the n word is also a big no and there is, in my opinion, no justification for it.
I understand that you both have been having issues lately and it sounds that taking a break from them, just focusing on yourself for a little bit at least, could be necessary. At least right now the communication seems to be really blocked and it’s likely that nothing would come out of it.
It’s okay if you need to set boundaries. It’s also fine if you want to try to talk to them in a calm way in a few days, once the storm would have passed. Just know though that you are deserving of respect, especially from friends.
How you feel is understandable. I would be very upset and disappointed if a friend treated me that way.
I hope you can rest a little and make sure to take care of yourself.
Sorry you’re having so many problems with your friend. Is this a online friendship or IRL?
Honestly, I don’t know the whole story or both sides, but just based on what you’ve said, I’m not sure I would want to be in a friendship with someone like that. Sometimes people are just not compatible with us and when we find that out, it’s better to just go separate ways, ya know? There are many more people in your life you will meet and have good friendships with. We don’t need to keep friends in our lives who fail to respect us.
Surround yourself with positive people that lift you up, not bring you down.
