Throughout my childhood and adolescence I was bullied. It didn’t really start until I moved from a major city to a small suburb. It was really bad from grades 5th to 8th and then again my third year of high school. I was bullied for a number of reasons but mostly because I came from a single parent household, I was in a lower social economic class than my peers, ADHD, my sexual orientation, my ethnicity and overall I just didn’t really feel like I fit in with them. It sucked it was horrible and has caused me to feel depressed and isolated. I’m grown and trying to get myself together so I can move on to the next phase in life and I haven’t really thought about my former bullies until I started having nightmares about them. Since the nightmares have started I feel anxious and scared as I did back then and think that I have to still deal with them. I haven’t thought about them in maybe ten years and yet I can’t figure out while I am having nightmares about them. I know they can’t physically hurt me anymore but because of the nightmares it feels like they can still emotionally harm me. Obviously a lot has changed for me since that time period and yet out of nowhere I have the nightmares. I truly thought I was over it. I guess what I am trying to work through is how do I truly move on?
I have been bulied to for many reasons so your not alone.
i understand how you feel. sadly i don’t know how to get rid of nightmares. but try to get over it. think positive.
Unfortunately, scars don’t go away just because you want them to, or even because you’re distanced from them. All that bullying happened during the time of your life where you were trying to figure out who you were, so you’ve been conditioned at a deep level to believe that who you are is flawed.
If you’re not seeing a counselor, or even if you are, find a provider at emdria.org. EMDR helped me clear up issues dating back to 4th grade that I hadn’t thought about in years. I don’t know the science behind it, but it’s an exercise in targeting specific trigger memories, analyzing how they make you feel mentally, emotionally, and even physically, figuring out what else might be associated with those target memories, and internalizing what you’d like to believe about them instead. It sounds ridiculous and fake, but it helped me clear up more issues in 3 months than all of the previous 4 years of counseling. Give it a try!
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, it sounds super difficult and I understand why you feel frustrated over this. Maybe this is happening because you still need to heal from your past experiences with bullies. They could be appearing in your dreams because you’re still holding onto that in some way, if that makes sense. Maybe there’s some things you still need to recover from and think through before the bullies leave you alone. No matter what, don’t give up. You are very strong and you are capable of getting through this. Take your time to heal and think about what can be done about it. love you
I thank you all for replying. It’s something I have to cope with and remind myself that I am not experiencing that now. I probably do have some healing to do and I have to remind myself that it is a process. Overall I don’t want my past to affect me.