I tried cutting

[Fallen_angel]

I tried cutting i was not very successful at least not in the way i wanted it to go when it comes to self harm at first i thought it might not scar now im thinking faint scars might appear but probably blend in with stretch marks im just going through so mutch im just done at least wensday i get to see my little sister she is staying with us for Thanksgiving and on wensday i might see my boyfriend and on friday or Saturday i might meet my internet best friend so i just i dont know anymore im so done with everything

[DrDyaus]

Fallen_Angel,

It sounds like you are really struggling with a lot right now and that nothing feels manageable. I’m also seeing this:

@Fallen_angel

in the way i wanted it to go when

How alternatively could it have gone?
What would you have like to have seen?

Self-harm is often a way to connect, to feel, with yourself because the stress of life can often make us feel so numb to everything. Or, it’s a way to alleviate the stressors that have built up to distract us from the things that are harming us, internally or externally.

Which one was it for you, or was it something different?

Self-harm is a coping skill, a negative coping skill, but a coping skill none the less and one that can have really significant effects on your life.

I’m thinking that you have several people in your life, real life, that are physically connected to you in your sister, your boyfriend and possibly your internet best friend? I hope that your boyfriend is supportive of your mental health needs and would respect you in regards to your cutting.

I am always a little hesitant to meet that “internet best friend” if you’ve never seen/met with them in person before given that they may be something you don’t expect. Also, Covid is legit now… it is having a huge spike… so that’s a thing too. Be safe out there in that regard, wear a mask and ultimately - if you are feeling pressure to meet them it’s a VERY valid excuse not to do so.

If you are stateside I’d encourage you to reach out to the suicide awareness hotline to just talk about your thoughts, even if you don’t intend to end your life they have professionals that can help you by just listening.

https://www.crisistextline.org/ - or text 741741, it’s free.

Much love and good luck on your journey - you are brave for posting here. Realize that you are loved and your experience matters.

@DrDyaus

[Micro]

Hey @Fallen_angel,

I’m sorry you felt the need to hurt yourself - whether it was successful or not by your definition. It makes sense to feel like cutting could be a relief when you’re deeply struggling. It makes sense to turn to those things, but you know this can’t be a solution. Unfortunately, it adds more pain - a pain you don’t need nor deserve. I’ve known that circle with different coping mechanisms and I know it’s hard to get out of those, but it’s possible. Right now, I hope you’re not beating yourself up for what happened and you take care of those scars as it’s needed. You, your body, your heart deserve love and compassion, especially during hard times.

It’s very brave of you to share about what happened and I really want to thank you for that. Please keep reaching out, whether it’s here and/or to your loved ones.

I hope today will be a good opportunity to celebrate Thanksgiving with your loved ones, also that you’ll have a good week end. You are loved, friend. I’m sending hugs to you.