I’ve been researching & i have anxiety

When I feel in a rush or feel something is not right I try to hurry up and figure out why I feel this way. I get rapid heart rate, cold hands, dealing nag & mother constantly tell me what to do. Like doing dishes and cleaning. Another thing when I have my time of the month I just couldn’t hold in I just burst out tears from my eyes and my mother still yell at me just little mess I made on trash can accidentally. Is like she want everything perfect & also my boss constantly nag me. I don’t want this frustration and my body feels I’m doing something wrong but I’m not. :pensive: what I do to deserve this?

You didn’t to anything to deserve this. What you are experiencing a lot of people go through, you are not a lone in this and in this online community you have people that care about you. This is a video that talks about how to calm down when you are having anxiety it has helped me a lot with my own struggle and I hope that it benefits you as well Tips on How to Calm Down From a Panic Attack
In the relationship you have with your mom are you able to talk to her and tell her how she is making you feel? If not I understand that relationships with parents can be difficult. Do you do any kind of self care? I know it can be hard in the busyness of life but taking a little time each day to focus on your mental health can be really important.
If you would like to talk more one on one message me I would love to help you in any way I can. You are not alone in this! Much love!


You don’t deserve this. Thank you for sharing and being honest - around the time of the month it’s normal to be a little more emotional because hormones are a wonderfully horrible thing. especially for those of us that struggle on the daily. Keep reaching out, try and find a way to get away if that’s possible - stay with a friend maybe? You don’t deserve this. You did nothing wrong.

Hold fast

Hey @MsBeckman,

Thank you for reaching out. I’m so sorry to hear about your battle with anxiety. You did absolutely nothing to deserve this. Sometimes bad things happen to good people. I developed the following list for myself to execute when I’m going through a period of severe anxiety and I hope it helps you too:

  • Take deep breaths whenever you think about breathing (“4-7-8” method)
  • Try taking some mood-enhancing tablets (Omega 3, 5-MTHF)
  • Get enough sleep (Go to bed early!)
  • Watch/listen to your favorite comedian
  • Exercise (Swim, if possible)
  • Check out the apps Headspace, Breathe, and/or 10% Happier
  • Temporarily change music to something relaxing (Jazz, Hammock, etc)


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Please get counseling. For you and your mother.

So whenever I have an anxiety attack, I shut down completely. I don’t speak. I just want to be left alone, to cry in the shower and calm down.

My mother has decided that everything is her fault, and in turn, it’s my fault for making her feel that way. It’s a dynamic that is extremely hard to break. The sound of my mother sighing is sometimes enough to make me anxious to another round of the blame game. My parents constantly told me everything I did was a C job, not an A job. It destroyed my self worth, my ability to do things when I was asked, and my desire to meet people - - who would want to hang out with someone who can’t do anything right? My mother called my behavior “good catholic guilt,” which was actually diagnosed as Avoidant Personality Disorder.

You’re mother probably loves you a lot, she just doesn’t know what to do (and we all know moms ‘know’ everything). My mom loves me, she just did a lot of shitty things not knowing the damage she had done.

I might be completely off target with this. Maybe I’m misunderstanding the post, but if there’s any kinship you feel in our stories, please get help. Love the life I wish I could - I’ll help you with resources of you need.