You posted here because you know that there is still hope, and you’re searching everywhere you can to find it. It may not seem like people care and I totally get that, but I definitely do. I’m not on here nearly as much as I should be, but this community is really important to me and I want the best for you.
That said, this sucks. I’m sorry that communities and people who are supposed to help you are not doing a good job of it. Seeing a therapist is something I often recommend because I know it can help in an ideal situation. However, there are many times when it doesn’t help or even sometimes when it’s harmful. I do still strongly encourage you to find a therapist that works well for you. I have not had a very helpful therapist until the one I am seeing now, who has helped more than I could have even imagined. I know that seems like something someone would say just to sound encouraging but I’m not joking. Therapists I have seen in the past didn’t help all that much, but my therapist now has helped me start to solve problems and mental battles that I didn’t even know I had going in. Same thing with groups. I don’t think I’ve found a group as helpful as my therapist now, but I have certainly had groups more helpful than others. If your group isn’t helping or is making things worse, don’t feel like you have to stay there. Try finding another group that helps more. Way easier said than done, but I guess my point is to not give up searching for people who really care and can help.
I’m sorry if you feel like this community is not really helping, and I can’t speak for others but I’m not on here often so I probably don’t help that much. But again, I really do care, and I encourage you to not give up on finding the right people. The right people REALLY do change everything – the right therapist, groups, and friends especially. People who get you and who care. I understand how hard it is to do life without those people, but those people exist. I know you can find them. I hope this is encouraging. I believe in you and I know you are strong enough to do this.